Hellooooo, my little gingersnaps!! How many of you stayed up past midnight to pre-order the iPhone6S? *raises my hand* With the exception of the Apple Watch, they can pretty much slap an apple symbol on anything and I will buy it. I know, I know. *hangs head*
A few exciting things happened this week… my friend Tamsin came to visit me from England!!! She is spending two weeks with me!! We spent 8 days together last year, so I must not be so bad if she’s back for more. Next week I’m taking her to Santa Barbara for a couple of days and then up to San Jose to visit the Winchester Mystery House. (love that place!) Here I am with Tamsin… (she’s awesome). And the thing is… she has an English accent! So pretty much everything she says sounds cool. She thinks I don’t understand what she’s saying, but really I pretend I don’t understand so she’ll keep repeating herself and I get to hear more of her cool accent. I’m trying to negotiate a deal where she will read me bedtime stories. Stories that I will of course record so I can listen to them over and over and over… you get the idea.
We got a really good deal on a fancy hotel for our trip, and having chocolate covered strawberries is one of the add-on options for your room, which naturally we ordered. Under special instructions, Tamsin had a brilliant idea…
We shall see if they fill our special request or not…
Another big event is that my birthday was this past Wednesday. Thank you to my best friend and platonic soulmate Spank, for writing such an awesome birthday message for me. She knows me so well! And thank you to every one of you who wished me a happy birthday!!! And I have nothing to say to those of you who didn’t. Cause… what would I say?
Anyway, I had a fantastic birthday. Mr. G ended up having the day off, so we got to go to my favorite Irish Pub for lunch. YUMMY SHEPHERD’S PIE. And for dinner we went to… The Pirate’s Dinner Adventure!
We had a fantastic time with cheering and singing and eating.
We were assigned to the Red Pirate. This scallywag of a guy, who was lookin’ to plum me depths…
but everyone knows that Mr. G is the only pirate who gets to plunder me booty!
Speaking of, did ya scoundrels know this day be th’ International Talk Like A Pirate Day? ‘Tis True! Arrrrg.
Kim Cattrall Says The Word ‘Childless’ Is Offensive
She said, “It’s the ‘less’ that is offensive – childless – it sounds like you’re ‘less’ because you haven’t had a child.”
Clearly Kim Cattrall has issues about not being a mom. Because her statement is dumb. I’m sorry, should we start calling her “child challenged”? So the “less” sounds like you are “less”. Let’s test that for a minute. How about this statement? “My dress is strapless.” Soooo…. is “less” still offensive? Are you less of a person for wearing a strapless dress? How about bagless vacuums? Are you “less” if you own a Dyson? No way! My Dyson kicks ass.
Also Kim says she is motherly because she has mentored young actors and actresses. Um, nope. Doesn’t count. Oh of course you don’t need to be a biological mother or even a legal mother to be a mother to someone. All you have to do is parent them. Grandparents sometimes raise their grandchildren. Good friends or siblings sometimes raise children that are not legally their children and in that case they are being a mom (unless they are a man and therefore are being a dad). But claiming motherhood by mentoring young actors and actresses and then telling us that the word “childless” is offensive?
Me thinks this says a whole lot about you, Kim. At least I hope so, because I don’t want to have to start referring to every childless person as “child challenged” because those are more syllables and that takes more work, which I’m frankly too lazy to do. How about this? Kim, you’re not a mom. If you want to become a mom, there are various ways to become one. Try Google Search with, “How do I become a mom?“. Either do that or get used to the term, “childless”. You’re being dumb.
In other celebrity news…
Helen Mirren: Putting Your Arm Around Your Girlfriend Is ‘Like Ownership’
Speaking yesterday to the Mail On Sunday’s You magazine, Mirren, 70, said: “It annoys me when I see men with an arm slung around their girlfriend’s shoulders. It’s like ownership. When I see girls being leaned on, I want to say, ‘tell him to get his damned arm off your shoulder’.”
Right, because a guy putting his arm around his girlfriend’s arm can’t possibly mean affection or love, or making a public declaration of love. (read with sarcasm) I personally love when Mr. G puts his arm around me. I loved it when we were dating and I love it still. Oh and now that my oldest son is much taller than I, he puts his arm around my shoulders when we walk together somewhere. Is he showing ownership of me? Of course not. He’s just being a loving son, showing affection to his Mama. And how about when I put my arm around Mr. G? Maybe I am claiming ownership of him. As long as it’s mutual, what’s the problem?
I’ve always been a fan of yours Helen, but right now you’re being dumb.
CHEATING MAN ALLOWS GIRLFRIEND TO BURN HIS PENIS WITH SCORCHING FLAT IRON
A South Australian man made a pact with his girlfriend that if he ever cheated on her, he would let her burn his gentleman’s sausage with her flat iron. So after he enjoyed a 2 day affair with his ex-girlfriend, he kept up his end of the bargain by letting his girlfriend do exactly that. Later the girlfriend, who thought it would only feel like a “sunburn”, stated that his wang looked like a charred piece of meat afterwards. Uh, DUH.
“In short, his penis will be scarred for life and he will suffer from a number of issues, including the proper function of his penis, not to mention the cosmetic and psychological problems associated with the scarring to such a sensitive site,” Judge Muscat said of the incident.
I honestly don’t know who is more stupid. The boyfriend for making that pact, breaking it, then LETTING his girlfriend do this to him, or the girlfriend who did this rather than dumping his cheating ass. They’re both dumb.
I’m not sure what’s more disturbing. The fact that it’s popular enough to have a Groupon Deal, that they’ve sold over 70 of theses, or that these are considered, “sexy”. I feel sorry for the dude who has to wear the duck. Is his wang supposed to fit in the duck bill?
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
Durex Commercial (NSFW)
At least he’s wearing head protection.
“Your Next”… what? Your next tattoo? #GrammarIsImportant
Only in China…
And that’s all the time I have for today. Don’t forget to talk like a pirate and meet me back here same time, same day for the next Entertainment Review. Until then, I leave you with this…