Hello my little gingersnaps, and welcome to the weekend!! Avengers 2 Age of Ultron came out yesterday. Who yet has seen it? I have! I have! Awesome right? If you haven’t seen it, no worries. All the characters die in the end. You’re welcome. No worries, I won’t give away anything you shouldn’t already know in this post. (except for that bit about all the characters dying. Guess you’ll just have to watch it to find out if I’m telling the truth.)
Those of us who are Loki/Tom Hiddleston fans, were very disappointed awhile back when it was announced there would be no Loki in Avengers 2, Age of Ultron. But NOW we find out from Joss Whedon that they DID shoot a scene with Loki that ended up on the cutting room floor. From the way he says it, it wasn’t his decision and Loki was cut because they didn’t want it to feel “overstuffed”. Ummm… couldn’t they have just cut the Hulk’s scenes out instead? Then there would’ve been PLENTY of room for Loki. Amiright?! We can make a totally non-scientific non-official vote: You tell me… Loki or Hulk? His scene BETTER be in the super duper deluxe Blu-ray version!
So now it’s possible to put your loved one’s ashes in a glass intimate item. (I’m being so professional in my wording, aren’t I? I’m patting myself on the back right now, mentally of course, since I’m typing and can’t do both at the same time) Back to this intimate item… I have two things to say… 1. Is it really wise to insert anything glass and therefore BREAKABLE into any orifice in the body? and 2. Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Oh, and one more thing… WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Seriously. I want to know. So I can avoid this person for the rest of my life, cause this is just messed up. This is supposed to be for widows. I’m not 100 percent sure, cause I didn’t ask Mr. G about this but… okay, I’m 100 percent sure Mr. G does not want me doing this with his ashes. I don’t even need to ask him. I can’t even if I wanted to, because he’s killing people right now on XboxOne (Destiny) and I could probably walk in front of him naked and he wouldn’t notice. Wait, no, he would notice THAT. Never mind. Bad example. What was I talking about? Oh yeah… putting ashes where ashes should never go. Is there anyone out there who wants their ashes in one of these? Go on… tell me so I can point at you and laugh when you’re not looking. I’m totally kidding. I’d point at you and laugh while you’re still looking at me.
You can put your loved one’s ashes in a glass dildo and do dildo stuff with it.
Designer Mark Sturkenboom came up with the idea as a way to remember our departed loves by shoving them all up in there.
How many times have you looked at the urn on your mantlepiece and thought, “Ho hum?” If you’re like most bereaved people, the answer is thousands. Sure, memorials like urns and wreaths are traditional, but they don’t capture any of the personal spark of the person you’ve lost. They don’t contain their scent, their essence, or their sexuality. And you can’t have sex with them. But that’s all about to change.
Dutch designer Mark Sturkenboom’s 21 Grams project is an all-in-one kit, intended to help widows remember intimate moments with their lost husbands (although it could certainly be used by LGBT individuals as well). A gold-plated brass key you wear around your neck opens a beautiful white box, containing mementos of your loved one.
The key is symbolic. (via Mark Sturkenboom)
See what I mean? (via Mark Sturkenboom)
Inside the box, a scent diffuser can spray some of your lover’s favorite fragrance. A small tray in the bottom can contain a handkerchief or other personal item (also good for cleaning up). It even has a slot for your iPhone, so you can play “your song” while you enjoy the pièce de resistance:
Even death won’t keep you apart. (via Mark Sturkenboom)
This hand-blown glass dildo contains a small gold-plated urn, which can hold up to 21 grams of your beloved’s ashes. Sturkenboom chose the 21-gram capacity deliberately, inspired by early 20th century experiments which suggested that bodies lose 21 grams at the moment of death. The idea was that those 21 grams were the weight of a soul. Those experiments have largely been discredited, but you know what hasn’t been discredited? The fact that this dildo is HOT.
Sturkenboom got the idea by striking up a friendship with a widow. He told Dezeen:
“I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn’t reflect that at all.”
I’m not sure if Sturkenboom intends to give that widow one of his boxes, but if he does, I bet he won’t be helping her with her groceries anymore. She’ll either be too horrified to want to see him again, or too busy having great sex with 21 grams of pure hot ashy husband.
Every box is handmade to order, and can be personalized. But really, it’s a labor of love for Sturkenboom. He told Dezeen why it’s so important to him:
“I tried to open a new window for the way we reminisce about someone and find a dialogue for these feelings people are struggling with when somebody passes. We live in a time where we are able to manipulate life, adjust the way that we look, where the possibilities are endless if it comes to body enhancements, but there is one thing we still cannot answer, the unavoidable passing of life. But I can sure try.”
And now, for this week’s video (now is NOT the time to point out to me that we don’t have a video every week.. shush!), we have Hawkeye singing about his super powers in a parody of Ed Sheeran‘s “Thinking Out Loud”, on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. This is awesome.
(If for some reason this video doesn’t work for you, click the direct link provided below)
Source: The Tonight Show via YouTube
So, here’s all the important Avengers’ high school pictures… yes, yep, fine, okay, yep, WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH HAWKEYE’S HAIR??!! See, this is why he ended up with the lame bow and arrow skills.
Okay, I do not know who photoshopped this picture together, but all I know is it is BRILLIANT. And it made me laugh so hard. (This is a still from Avengers 2 Age of Ultron, showing the Twin who can run really fast. I can’t remember his character’s name, but it’s not important. Cause he’s not Loki.)
YES!!! I need to make the creepy Avengers version (not the annoyingly chipper Pinocchio version) of the song, “I’ve Got No Strings On Me” my new ringtone for someone. Probably someone evil. I’ll have to scroll through my contacts and decide who is the most evil among my friends. I can’t tell you who will NOT be getting this ringtone. Jamie. Cause she’s everything good, and cheerful and sunshine and rainbows. Plus she requested her own ringtone for herself on my phone. It’s true. She made me put Zippety-do-da from Disney as her ringtone even though she knows I abhore all things Disney. Except Marvel. And Star Wars. And Pirates of the Caribbean. Damn it!
Okay, okay… I’m trying to figure this picture out… ummm… wait a minute… nope. I don’t have a clue. Unless the guy is Sicilian. Nope. Still weird.
And that’s all the time I have for you today, my little gingersnaps. If you haven’t seen the new Avengers movie, it’s a rip roarin’ good time! (they’re not even paying me to say that!) I’m going to see it again this weekend. Yes, even though Loki isn’t in it. *sigh* Until next week, I leave you with this WTF Avenger fact…
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