Brian: (Thinks he is about to step on something and fumbles to a stop) What?!
Me: I am currently ovulating. I just read that women who are ovulating are most attracted to dominant men with masculine body types. I also read that women make themselves more attractive to men when they are ovulating…basically, I’m irresistible…Come any closer and you don’t stand a chance. This is
Brian: We missed the Sean and Catherine’s wedding should we watch it?
A few minutes later
Me: Did she just say ‘grown-sexy’ to Mindy Weiss? What does that even mean? Sophisticated and sexy? Grown sexy sounds like a sexy garden. I want to go water my sexy kale, I grow it sexy in my garden. PETA should steal it and use it for their sexy vegetable commercials. What do you think?