Conversations With Brian 3
Conversations with Brian- Ovulation
Brian walks in from a long day at work.
- Me: (Sitting on the couch) Careful!
- Brian: (Thinks he is about to step on something and fumbles to a stop) What?!
- Me: I am currently ovulating. I just read that women who are ovulating are most attracted to dominant men with masculine body types. I also read that women make themselves more attractive to men when they are ovulating…basically, I’m irresistible…Come any closer and you don’t stand a chance. This is
Family Conversations
My phone rings
Brian: Is that from Schindler’ s Lists?
Me: Yeah, why?
Brian: You seriously have the music from Schindler’s List as your ringtone?
Me: Yes…
Brian: Do you realize how weird and depressing that is?
Me: Well, when you put it that way…
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Samuel and Aram were helping me carry a meal for a potluck to the car. Samuel was carrying a Tupperware with warm rice in it.
Aram: Samuel, can I hold the rice on … Keep Reading!!!
Conversations with Brian: The Bachelor
Attempt 1:
Brian: We missed the Sean and Catherine’s wedding should we watch it?
Me: Sure.
A few minutes later
Me: Did she just say ‘grown-sexy’ to Mindy Weiss? What does that even mean? Sophisticated and sexy? Grown sexy sounds like a sexy garden. I want to go water my sexy kale, I grow it sexy in my garden. PETA should steal it and use it for their sexy vegetable commercials. What do you think?
Brian: ….
Me: You’re asleep, … Keep Reading!!!
