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Conversations With Brian 3

Conversations with Brian- Ovulation

Brian walks in from a long day at work.

  • Me: (Sitting on the couch) Careful!
  • Brian: (Thinks he is about to step on something and fumbles to a stop) What?!
  • Me: I am currently ovulating. I just read that women who are ovulating are most attracted to dominant men with masculine body types. I also read that women make themselves more attractive to men when they are ovulating…basically, I’m irresistible…Come any closer and you don’t stand a chance. This is
… Keep Reading!!!

Family Conversations

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My phone rings

Brian: Is that from Schindler’ s Lists?

Me: Yeah, why?

Brian: You seriously have the music from Schindler’s List as your ringtone?

Me: Yes…

Brian: Do you realize how weird and depressing that is?

Me: Well, when you put it that way…

————–

Samuel and Aram were helping me carry a meal for a potluck to the car. Samuel was carrying a Tupperware with warm rice in it.

Aram: Samuel, can I hold the rice on … Keep Reading!!!

Conversations with Brian: The Bachelor

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Attempt 1:

Brian: We missed the Sean and Catherine’s wedding should we watch it?

Me: Sure.

A few minutes later

Me: Did she just say ‘grown-sexy’ to Mindy Weiss? What does that even mean? Sophisticated and sexy? Grown sexy sounds like a sexy garden. I want to go water my sexy kale, I grow it sexy in my garden. PETA should steal it and use it for their sexy vegetable commercials. What do you think?

Brian: ….

Me: You’re asleep, … Keep Reading!!!

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