The boys and I got home from the beach and there were a couple of packages waiting for us. I opened one up and to my surprise I saw this:
Those are shrimp… I think.
Someone sent us live sea creatures we were not expecting.
The package was addressed to “Brian Grumet”, but when I spoke to him at work, he had no idea from where or whom they came. “Just flush them,” said the man whom I now consider soul-less.
Remember when Luca Brasi was killed and they send the Corleone family a dead fish to let them know that “Luca Brasi swims with the fish”? Someone could be sending us the same cryptic message… but with shrimp… that are still alive…which is slightly less threatening and ridiculously ambiguous.
So, now we must solve the mystery of mysterious shrimp message.
Who sent these? And why?
- Jay Gordon: The first time Brian and I went out to dinner with Jay and his wife we had a vegetarian meal at Fig in the Fairmont hotel. One of the dishes he ordered came with fish and he asked if we could get it without the shrimp. The waitress said said yes, but told us it was delicious with shrimp. She asked, “I can put them on the side, or where would you like them?” He replied, “Back in the ocean.” Truth be told, Brian and I secretly did want to eat those shrimp. Coincidentally today, this book also arrived for me:
Jay knew I wanted to eat those succulent shrimp, and now he’s sending me some live ones to guilt me into becoming a vegan. I wouldn’t put it past him, he’s a clever man, and those shrimp are awfully cute.
- Brian’s Work Buddies: “Shrimp in a box” – It was addressed to Brian. He will claim the shrimp part proves it wasn’t for him. Har har…
- A Religious Nut: I did get a manifesto sent to me not all that long ago with a cry for me to repent (fr breastfeeding my child) and a diagram with pictures of how men and women should dress and behave. Also a threat that I will burn in hell. Brian is keeping his shaved head and we’ll take our chances. However, it did talk a lot about “bottom feeders.” hmmmm…..
I need to find this person so I can ask them specifically why they would send me live shrimp through the mail without a warning. Also, why not seahorses?