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Home > My Most Embarrassing Moment (This Is Why They Won’t Let Me Go to the Drugstore Alone)

My Most Embarrassing Moment (This Is Why They Won’t Let Me Go to the Drugstore Alone)

Written by:  Jamie

Brian and I went to PF Changs for dinner and I thought I was breaking out in hives from something I ate. (It turns out it was the lotion I was using.) Anyway, there were little bumps on my forearms and I started to freak out (I think it is important to note that I am a hypochondriac). We called my mom and Brian’s brother to ask what to do. Brian’s brother is a doctor and my mom is, well, my mom. They both said to go get cortisone cream.

So, off to Walgreen’s we went. By this point, panic had set in and I wanted to get that cream on me ASAP.

I jumped out of Brian’s car as soon as it pulled into the parking space, scraping my knee in the process, but it didn’t slow me down, I kept running like a lunatic.

I frantically ran to the first sales clerk and yelled, “Where is the cortisone cream!!!????” He looked at my frantic face and immediately yelled back, “aisle 8!”

I ran to aisle 8 and in big letters I saw CORTISONE. I didn’t  feel like wasting time , so I pulled it out of the tube and started rubbing it on my arms. (Thank God no doctor was ever dumb enough to give me a prescription for an EpiPen.)

The placebo effect set in and I immediately felt better.

I strolled up to the open register (cool calm and collected now that I believed my magic cream had helped me escape imminent death) and set the empty box in front of the sales clerk.

Here is our conversation (which, at the time, I thought was very strange):

Her: (Peaks into the box to see nothing is in there and looks confused.)
Me: “Oh, don’t worry I put it in my purse. I put it on in the store; I had a bad reaction to something I ate and broke out in a rash.”
Her: “You put it on in the store?” ::Horrified look::
Me: Now questioning my judgment and getting a little irritated with her, “Yes, I did. I had a bad reaction to something I ate and I was breaking out. I got really nervous and just opened the tube and put it on in the aisle… geez, I hope that’s okay.”
Her: “Um, I guess so…..”

I went back to the car and threw the box down on the seat. Brian looked down at it and had a confused look on his face.

Brian: “Why did you buy that?”
Me: “Your brother told me to get it.”
Brian: “He told you to buy anal itch cream?!”
Me: (I grab the box and look in horror as I recall the conversation I just had with the sales clerk .) “Oh. My. God.”

And I never shopped there again.

Mar 3, 2015Jamie
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