It’s safe to say that the world is sickened by overly distressed denim, rhinestone pockets, buttons-for-decoration and anything with the words “Affliction” or “Juicy” scrawled across the derriere of the 2000 and late. I mean, a man can enjoy a Mixed Martial Arts fight if it’s on tv, but God help us all if everyone started wearing the clothes those guys wear. At the same time, I’d rather get punched in the throat by one of those MMA guys than be caught in a not-so-dapper pair of elastic waisted, triple-pleated, sky blue “dad jeans.”
So where’s the middle ground between Martha Stewart and Apple Bottom Jeans for guys? Rule One, of course, is to leave out the “boots with tha fur.” Men don’t need to “peacock” with their damn jeans. We don’t need flags, buckles, extra zippers or vajazzling. Rule Two, ask your wife or a trusted female friend. For all of you wives, significant others and friends of dads, please help. He hasn’t given up it’s just that he hasn’t gotten laid by someone other than his partner since cargo shorts with Birkenstocks were considered appropriate date attire.
The internet screamed for this article so the two extremely glamorous and model-hot resident dads here at IANtB decided to write a post to help guide you in selecting some jeans for the dad that you love that will help him look great, avoid the proverbial “dad jeans” and (hopefully) keep him from ripping the crotch out the first time he squats to clean up Easy Mac off the bedroom floor. (Why do my kids eat Easy Mac in the bedroom? Because I pick my battles, don’t judge me).
From PacSun : The Matix Gripper Denim Jeans. PacSun you say? Isn’t that store for teenagers? Short answer? Yes. Long answer? They have great prices and as long as you can muster the courage to step into the store with the pop punk from 2005 playing, you can find some great, affordable jeans. Better yet, don’t step in the store and just buy them online.
Do not miss these great deals from PacSun!
I never thought I’d be a fan of Perry Ellis jeans until I actually had to borrow a pair from a friend. Because I got BBQ sauce on mine. Again. They fit comfortably enough that I don’t talk in a high pitched voice but still don’t look like I’m wearing denim pajama pants (I only have a couple pair of these and no, I don’t wear them to church). These straight fit lightweight jeans are made with a polyester blend that allows them to have a nice finish to them and be slightly form-fitting. Definitely a good choice for active dads with the predisposition for the aforementioned crotch ripping.
Our friends at Frugaa have great deals on jeans and other fashionable items.
Banana Republic – Men’s Sale – Banana Republic can be hit or miss if I’m just being honest. Sometimes their stuff is really cool and stylish (and my wife likes it) and other times it’s just like expensive Gap. Wait…
So we had to include something for the Boot Cut types out there. Not everyone can pull off straight leg jeans. I personally spend 5 days in the gym every week and wear tight t-shirts to make me look way tougher than I really am. So if I wear straight leg jeans I basically look like a moron. Not that I don’t anyway, but straight leg jeans definitely complete that look. I like these jeans from Banana Republic and have had good success with them being high quality and lasting a long time. However, please beware. Do not make the mistake of buying these jeans in THIS color:
Yeah. Those are the same jeans. I can’t see this guy’s face and I know nothing about him, but if he weren’t a hired model, this guy would totally be a dad with no fashion sense. Nothing screams “dad jeans” more than this color/wash. Do not buy these.
As dads we have our little tricks to make life a little easier and comfortable. We wear dark jeans to hide the ravioli and juice stains. We use our belts to enclose non-toddler swings to protect our death wish having toddlers. In fact, we are the best generation of dads the world has ever seen… so we shouldn’t look like a bunch of dumbasses.
Also, don’t wear brown shoes with a black belt or black shoes with a brown belt.