Have you ever been in this moment of relationship, when you know each other so well you know exactly what your partner is going to do? Sex is an important part of any relationship, and it is always amazing when you go through the honeymoon phase, but what comes after?
After some time, people tend to fall into a routine and do everything the same way. That’s when their sex life starts to fade. The only remedy is to start experimenting and trying new things. Read on and find out how to explore your sexual boundaries with your partner.
- Think About What You Want
It would be pretty difficult to ask for something if you don’t know what it is. Every person has different likes, but there is a chance that you and your partner are into the same things. Sometimes, mostly subconsciously, people choose their partners when they feel this particular connection. But, before talking to your partner, you have to be sure what exactly do you want or what you are willing to try.
You can think about porn you like the most, recall the situations that got you intensely aroused, or think about books or movies with the best lovemaking scenes you have ever seen. Maybe you want to try using male sex toys or sexy costumes? It will help you sort out things you may want to do.
However, sexual exploration can concern various things like places or kinks. If you want to sort it out, you can search for a kinks list on the Internet and mark everything that interests you. Do the same with places, clothes, or other things you can think of. This way, you will create a clear vision for your new sex life.
You can split this list into 3 categories:
- Things you know you enjoy
- Things you may be interested in
- Things that do not appeal to you in the slightest
If you don’t want it to be so structured, you can always try completing the sentence “My ideal sex life would…” Do it around 20 times on paper. It should give you a basic idea of how you want your sex life to be. Ask your partner to do the same.
- Define Your Blocks
Sex is great, and as long as everything is taking place between two consenting adults, the sky is the limit. However, besides thinking about positives, you also have to think about negatives.
Some of the issues you can work out. Those are the things you secretly would want to do but are too embarrassed to talk about them. But there are also those that can be really problematic, and you may not want to even think about doing them.
It may be unpleasant, but it is essential in a relationship, as everything about sex that we are unable to discuss with our partner can hinder the free-flowing nature of our sexuality. You can communicate it however you want, verbally, on paper, or even send your partner a link to an article.
- Compare Notes
Now comes the part when you have to face each other. Before you start doing things, discuss them thoroughly. It is advisable to choose a safe word you can always say when something is too intense or unpleasant. Remember to choose a word you would never say during sex, like “pineapple.”
When comparing notes, some things may turn out to be surprising or even challenging to read. Finding out about some of your partner’s kinks can be weird, but try to remain calm. Remember that your partner will probably think the same things when going through your notes.
Keep in mind that things on your partner’s list are not necessarily things that your partner will surely love. It may be just something that they haven’t tried yet.
After you complete the task, talk to your partner about what you want to do first. Don’t dive deep on the first try. Take baby steps and just enjoy each other while you try new things. Being considerate can show your partner just how much you love them.
The Bottom Line
Exploring your sexual boundaries is an amazing way to create a strong bond between partners if done correctly. You can be sure that these discussions will help you understand and trust each other more than before. Open discussion is a necessity in any healthy relationship.
Just keep an open mind and don’t judge your partner for having different likes and dislikes than you. It doesn’t mean that you have to try everything, and it’s something people can’t control. In a healthy, loving relationship, no one will ever push their partner to do things they don’t want. So, remember about all those tips and go have fun with your other half!