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Home > Conversations with Brian: The Bachelor

Conversations with Brian: The Bachelor

Written by:  Jamie

 IMG_7468

Attempt 1:

Brian: We missed the Sean and Catherine’s wedding should we watch it?

Me: Sure.

A few minutes later

Me: Did she just say ‘grown-sexy’ to Mindy Weiss? What does that even mean? Sophisticated and sexy? Grown sexy sounds like a sexy garden. I want to go water my sexy kale, I grow it sexy in my garden. PETA should steal it and use it for their sexy vegetable commercials. What do you think?

Brian: ….

Me: You’re asleep, eh? I can’t say I’m surprised…I’m going to follow your lead and close my ‘grown-sexy’ eyes.

The following evening …

Attempt 2:

Brian: Should we try to watch the wedding again?

Me: Well, from what I saw they livecam honeymoon suite.

Brian: Is anyone in it?

Me: No, it’s just a shot of their bed.

Brian: Oh, that’s not creepy at all…

Me: I actually think it would be worse if they were in it! I wonder if they knew ABC was going to televise their bed…

Brian: Yeah, let’s skip that one.

Me:  Juan Pablo is is…

Brian: Why do all the girls have a pimple on their right cheek?

Me: What are you….Whoa, you’re right! It’s probably a bug bite.

Brian: A bug that prefers the right cheek of its victims?

Me: Yes.

Brian: Oh good they are editing in drama.

Me: It’s a gift. Creating something from nothing.

Brian: The real question is why are those people eating behind them while they are getting a skin-eating fish pedicure. Is this a restaurant?

Me: I am not restauranteur, but I imagine if I pitched the idea of a diner/dead skin eating fish pedicure establishment it would not get many investors super excited.

Brian: I’d invest in that.

Me: That girl is really afraid of octopus.

Brian:  I still have no idea what Juan Pablo is saying. I think I pick up every third word.

Me: Really? I don’t really notice his accent.

Brian: Oh, now he decides he doesn’t want to kiss anyone…after he kisses every girl he goes out with.

Me: I think he may just not like that girl. I bet he’ll kiss someone tonight.

Brian: Octopus girl got a kiss…

Me: This show is so stupid…I think I’m done watching it.

Brian: Me, too.

Me: Ohh! Next week they go to Vietnam!

Brian:  It looks like next week Octopus girl sneaks into Juan Pablo’s suite!

 

Jan 30, 2014Jamie
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