Attempt 1:
Brian: We missed the Sean and Catherine’s wedding should we watch it?
Me: Sure.
A few minutes later
Me: Did she just say ‘grown-sexy’ to Mindy Weiss? What does that even mean? Sophisticated and sexy? Grown sexy sounds like a sexy garden. I want to go water my sexy kale, I grow it sexy in my garden. PETA should steal it and use it for their sexy vegetable commercials. What do you think?
Brian: ….
Me: You’re asleep, eh? I can’t say I’m surprised…I’m going to follow your lead and close my ‘grown-sexy’ eyes.
The following evening …
Attempt 2:
Brian: Should we try to watch the wedding again?
Me: Well, from what I saw they livecam honeymoon suite.
Brian: Is anyone in it?
Me: No, it’s just a shot of their bed.
Brian: Oh, that’s not creepy at all…
Me: I actually think it would be worse if they were in it! I wonder if they knew ABC was going to televise their bed…
Brian: Yeah, let’s skip that one.
Me: Juan Pablo is is…
Brian: Why do all the girls have a pimple on their right cheek?
Me: What are you….Whoa, you’re right! It’s probably a bug bite.
Brian: A bug that prefers the right cheek of its victims?
Me: Yes.
Brian: Oh good they are editing in drama.
Me: It’s a gift. Creating something from nothing.
Brian: The real question is why are those people eating behind them while they are getting a skin-eating fish pedicure. Is this a restaurant?
Me: I am not restauranteur, but I imagine if I pitched the idea of a diner/dead skin eating fish pedicure establishment it would not get many investors super excited.
Brian: I’d invest in that.
Me: That girl is really afraid of octopus.
Brian: I still have no idea what Juan Pablo is saying. I think I pick up every third word.
Me: Really? I don’t really notice his accent.
Brian: Oh, now he decides he doesn’t want to kiss anyone…after he kisses every girl he goes out with.
Me: I think he may just not like that girl. I bet he’ll kiss someone tonight.
Brian: Octopus girl got a kiss…
Me: This show is so stupid…I think I’m done watching it.
Brian: Me, too.
Me: Ohh! Next week they go to Vietnam!
Brian: It looks like next week Octopus girl sneaks into Juan Pablo’s suite!
