Hello my little gingersnaps, and welcome to the Weekend Entertainment Recap! Those of you who used to follow me at Gingersnaps in the Morning know the drill. For everyone else, you’ll catch on soon. Possibly. Maybe.
In entertainment news, the director and the screenwriter have both pulled out of the sequels to the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. This is said to be due to the numerous conflicts reported between them and the author of the Fifty Shades books, E.L. James, who originally wrote this series as Twilight fan fiction. There seems to be three different camps in relation to these books. Those that read the books and liked the story, those who read the books and didn’t like them, and those who didn’t read the books at all. I fall in the third category. Once a trusted reader friend told me the author of Fifty Shades made author Stephenie Meyer (of the Twilight Series) seem like a Pulitzer Prize winning author, I declined to read the books. Between the people who loved the books and those who didn’t, they all seem to agree that they were poorly written. My favorite, most entertaining review of the Fifty Shades of Grey book can be found here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/340987215 Thank you Katrina Passick Lumsden for your hilarious review! So why am I spending so much time talking about the quality of the writing? Well, because the rumors are that E.L. James herself wants to write the script for the Fifty Shades sequels. Even fans of the book have told me they think this is a horrible idea as it is the story they enjoyed, not the writing. Either way, I suppose I will be reviewing the sequel as I did the first movie, which my co-author and I affectionately renamed, “Fifty Shades of Dakota’s Nipples“.
YOU CAN BELIEVE: The X-Files Is Officially Returning!
Are there any X-Files fans out there? Oh see what I just did there? “out there”??? That’s where the truth is. Okay I need to stop. What’s NOT stopping is X-Files. It’s coming back! Oh yes it is, for at least 6 episodes. Thirteen years and two not-so-great movies later, they’re bringing back Mulder and Scully, who look surprisingly the same.
THE X-FILES IS OFFICIALLY COMING BACK! Rinse out your black t-shirt with “I want to believe” on it, because it’s freaking happening, people. Mulder and Scully are returning!!!!
Fox just issued a press release confirming the long-whispered return of The X-Files — and also confirming the return of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.
It’s been 13 years since the finale (and a couple of so-so films in between) and now Fox has re-ordered a six-episode X-Files run, with original showrunner Chris Carter.
In the PR release, there’s lots of nice talk, like this bir from Carter saying he thinks of the hiatus as a, “…13-year commercial break.” And as for what’s in store, lots more weirdness as Carter seems pretty giddy about the state of scifi television today, “The good news is the world has only gotten that much stranger, a perfect time to tell these six stories.”
In “I failed World Geography and I’m Very Confused News”, Raven Symone has announced the following:
“I’m From Every Continent in Africa and Europe”
MAR. 27, 2015 AT 7:25PM BY SIERRA MARQUINA
Credit: Gabriel Olsen/FilmMagic
That’s…so wrong. Raven Symone is confused. While talking with E! News’ Alicia Quarles, the That’s So Raven alum talked about her ancestry, but unfortunately, she seems to misunderstand the definition of “continent” versus “country.”
“I never said I wasn’t black, I said I wasn’t African American — to me, that’s a difference,” the Atlanta, Ga., native told Quarles, before giving Ancestory.com an epic shoutout.
“Thank you to ancestry.com for sending me my DNA test,” she started. “I am from every continent in Africa except for one and I’m also from every continent in Europe except for one,” she said, without even questioning what she had just said.
An equally unfazed Quarles continued on with the conversation, but the Internet, naturally, didn’t fail to notice the snafu.
Read the funniest responses to Symone’s comments below:
In the “I’m the best father in the world” news, Kanye West took his daughter North by Northwest out for some 1:1 quality time, to show what a great father he is. And when I say he took her out for 1:1 time, I mean he took her out after he called the Paparazzi and told them where he would be, so they could capture the magical moment of them yelling out his and his daughter’s name, to try to get them to look at the camera. And in return, the nice men with the cameras turned the pictures in so that he could have this article written about him, saying what a wonderful dad he is.
Kanye Spends Some QUALITY TIME . . . Playing With His DAUGHTER AT THE BEACH . . . You Can Tell He’s a GREAT DAD!!
March 24, 2015: Say what you want about Kanye, but he LOVES THAT LITTLE GIRL with all his heart. Yeezy and Nore were photo’d playing on the beach yesterday . . . spending some time ALONE.
Now I have something serious to discuss. This world is full of people who suffer from poor self-esteem and it seems like we all could learn from Kanye West and his ability to overcome what plagues so much of mankind these days. Thank goodness for the folks at USAToday and their Kanye West Self-Confidence Generator. Come on, give me some of that Kanye-Fidence!
All you have to do is click on the blue button and it gives you more!! Like…
Have you had enough? Yeah me too. Let’s move on, shall we? If I didn’t already love the people at Groupon, I sure do now. Who doesn’t love a company that has a good sense of humor when responding to consumers, especially when they ask ridiculous questions? I want a Banana Bunker now.
Now we move on to the Weird News, which is actually quite alarming if you are a man. Wait, let me rephrase that. It’s quite alarming if you are a man who keeps a firearm tucked in the front waistband of your pants.
The Internet is abuzz this week with the unfortunate mishap of one security guard in Trinidad who accidentally shot his dick off with a .38 firearm. That sucks, but this isn’t the first time that a potential Darwin Award nominee robbed himself of manhood. At least five similar incidents have been reported in the United States within the last three years.
If these cases don’t sway macho man constitutionalists to support gun control, then I don’t know what.
1. September 2012: Michael Smeriglio, while cleaning his pistol
The 18-year old Floridian shot a bullet through his penis and left testicle while he was attempting to clean a gun he bought at a party the month prior. (via)
2. July 2012: Tavares Colbert, while testing out a firearm
Colbert, 36, was charged with illegal firearms possession after he admitted to the cops that he had intentions to sell the gun to another man outside a 7-Eleven in Oklahoma. On the way to make the sale, Colbert tested the gun in the car and shot himself in the nads. (via)
3. August 2011: Joshua Seto, walking into store with girlfriend
27-year old Seto was walking into a store with his girlfriend in Chandler, Arizona, when a pink pistol went off in his pants. Putz. (via)
4. May 2010: Unidentified man, shopping at Lowe’s
A lone shopper blew away his testicles on a Sunday afternoon while walking the aisles at Lowe’s Home Improvement in Washington state. The gun was kept not-so-safely in his waistband. (via)
5. March 2010: Unidentified teenager, walking into medical center
A 17-year old in Vallejo, California, was spotted holding his wounded crotch while walking into the emergency room. At the time of the report, the kid didn’t tell anyone what happened. (via)
I don’t know about you, but if I had an appendage that was in direct line of my weapon, I’d move that weapon, since I imagine the previous accidents have been life-changing for those men listed above. And it’s not like wangs are at the top of the donated organs list. What did I say? Transplanting wangs? Oh yes… Doctors have just successfully transplanted a wang to a man in need of a wang in South Africa. I’m not making this up!
Surgeons in South Africa say they’ve performed the world’s first successful penis transplant.
The nine-hour operation, carried out by a team of doctors from Stellenbosch University and Tygerberg Hospital in Cape Town, took place on Dec. 11, 2014, but was not publicly announced until this month while doctors waited to see how the patient would recover.
Now fully convalesced, the hospital says the patient has regained all urinary, reproductive and sexual functions with his new penis. This came as a surprise to doctors, who expected him to take at least two years to recover.
This is only the second time surgeons have attempted such an operation, and the first time it’s been successful.
The hospital did not identify the patient but did say the 21-year-old had to have his own penis amputated after he developed severe complications from his circumcision.
The hospital looked to medical teams that have performed successful face transplants for how to carry out this experimental surgery.
“We used the same type of microscopic surgery to connect small blood vessels and nerves, and the psychological evaluation of patients was also similar,” said André van der Merwe, a professor and head of Stellenbosch University’s division of urology, said in a press statement.
The procedure was part of a pilot study that began in 2010, and is a major breakthrough for this region of the world, where many men suffer through traditional circumcision practices that can cause disfigurement and loss of the organ or even death from infections. One report last year estimated that since 2006, 500 young men had died from such rituals in Eastern Cape province alone.
“There is a greater need in South Africa for this type of procedure than elsewhere in the world, as many young men lose their penises every year due to complications from traditional circumcision,” Van der Merwe said.
The team hopes to develop a penile transplant procedure that surgeons will be able to perform at typical hospitals across the country.
There are no formal records on the number of penile amputations that occur each year as a result of circumcisions gone wrong, but some experts estimate that doctors in South Africa perform about 250 amputations annually. The medical team says penile transplantation surgery could also become an option for patients with penile cancer and perhaps even as a last-resort treatment for men with severe erectile dysfunction.
But their primary concern is for young men like their patient who were traumatized by a botched circumcision. “This is a very serious situation. For a young man of 18 or 19 years the loss of his penis can be deeply traumatic. He doesn’t necessarily have the psychological capability to process this. There are even reports of suicide among these young men,” said van der Merwe.
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I find this quite phenomenal, scientifically speaking. The first time this was attempted, the donor and his wife later asked that the donated wang be removed. (which is why they consider this one to be the first successful transplant) I wonder why they had the donated wang removed, don’t you? Was it the wrong color? Or are these just the kinds of things I think about? Just me, huh? Okay. Moving on…
Now it’s time for the…
WTF Pic of the Week!!!
And now the Meme of the Week!
And last, but not least, we have the…
And that’s all the time I have for this weekly entertainment recap, but since we ended it with Daniel Craig, I’ll leave you with this JUST RELEASED trailer for the new Bond Movie, Spectre.
That’s all for this week, I’ll see you back here next Saturday!