That Time You Find Out You Get Sea Sick While Your Husband Recovers From A Vasectomy…

On day two of  our Hawaii trip, my cousin, Lori, arrived. Whew, that was a lot of help. Now I had another set of hands to help with Aram (Brian just had a vasectomy and could not lift anything larger than a gallon of milk)…

Lori and I found an advertisement for a sunset  Catamaran sail. We were in awe! It was a beautiful two-hour sail that takes you out to catch a glimpse at the remaining whales while serving appetizers and cocktails throughout the journey. Well, we needed to go.  At a mere $62 a person, it was a steal….and then we found out that Brian and I could go on a 90-minute timeshare presentation and get our tickets for free! We scheduled our journey for the end of our vacation and that was all Lori and I were talking about for the last few days.

Brian was not quite as amused- he kept warning us that he gets sea sick and he was pretty scared. “Take some dramamine and you’ll be fine,” were my famous last words.

Jeremy had joined us in Maui at this point, and thank God he did….(We would have had no one on the boat to care for Aram if he wasn’t there!)

Aram’s best bud and companion for the journey

Lori and I ordered Mai Tais and Ahi Tuna before we set sail. We were decked out in our sparkle bikinis and we were ready to ride the high seas!

our Mai Tais- this is us excited before we knew better…

Our boat came and we stepped on it. It was beautiful! 60 seconds in to the trip, Lori said, “I feel sick…” I was pretty sure that was impossible, but she progressed quickly and couldn’t even talk 5 minutes into the trip.

Lori stepping onto the boat and immediately nauseous.

Fast-forward another 5 minutes, and I’m not feeling good. I can’t eat anything and I just want to die. Jeremy and Brian are having a great time with Aram. They started ordering the free beer and helping themselves to the hors d’oeuvres that came with the ride. I think what put me over the edge was the meatballs Brian started popping in like it was nothing…I needed to get away, fast.

We popped some dramamine and waited at the front of the boat for it to kick in.

Lori got hit with a massive wave as she sat on the floor net of the boat and was so sick she didn’t even react to the fact she was now soaked, even as people laughed and pointed at her.

Finally one of the crew realized we were sick and told us we needed to be on the back of the boat. We ran there just in time for me to throw up all over the white steps they have back there.

That’s me throwing up while Lori attempts to “look at the horizon” suggested by the crew. We were definitely past the point of that being helpful.

Then the worst thing in the world happened. The boat stopped moving back to shore. It stood there parked.

Everyone flocked to the front of the boat. We heard applause and we heard Aram’s two-year-old voice yell “A whale, a whale!”

The baby whale that delayed our recovery. We hear cheering and clapping from the other side of the boat.

We just kept our eyes on the horizon, trying to avoid contact with the sun or water that would trigger another vomit explosion.

This view is not appreciated during a bout of sea sickness. In fact, it was despised and blamed for our condition.

We FINALLY made it to shore and as soon as we stepped on land we were instantly cured! Lori and I later found out that major sea sickness runs on that side of our family and we should probably steer clear of cruises or any kind of boating adventure.

Recovered