Breastfeeding moms of toddlers respond to common breastfeeding misconceptions about nursing past infancy:
Myth: Breastfeeding will ruin your boobs!
Truth: Your breasts will inflate through your pregnancy and
engorgement when your milk comes whether your nurse your babies or
not!
Vanity has been known to get the best of me. I’ll admit it. I’ll
even confess that some decisions I made about my health might have
been motivated by said vanity, said the girl who quit smoking in her
youth when she realized it would ruin her skin before it ravaged her
lungs. If you fall in to the camp of women that occasionally puts a
little too much focus on the outside instead of the inside you’ll be
glad to know that breastfeeding your kids is not responsible for your
boobs going South! Gravity and the swelling of the breasts during
pregnancy and engorgement take the greatest toll on the skin
responsible for holding those big, beautiful mammaries in place and
there is no escaping that! So, go ahead and do a few push ups and
nurse your kiddos! Throw in some chest presses with a five pound hand
weight and those gorgeous boobs that are a cup size bigger than normal
will be back front and center where you like them before you know it.
Myth: Extended nursing will create a co-dependent, needy child.
Truth: Letting your child wean on their own time fosters
independence!! A child that reconnects with their mother regularly
and believes that they can always come back to the safety of a parent
is far more likely to boldly step out on their own. Weaning becomes an
act that the child participated in achieving. I can recall sending my
daughter off to her first day of school. Anticipating a little bit of
anxiety on her part (and holding back my own tears) I said “Go ahead,
big girl. Mommy will be right here after school.” Off she went,
secure in the knowledge that she can return to me. Obviously,
nursing is not the only way to create an environment of loving,
kindness. But for many families it is the cornerstone of the
mother-child bond. Regular (albeit brief as anyone who has ever seen
a busy toddler drive-by nursing can attest to!) breastfeeding of a
toddler gives both the child and the mother a perfect opportunity to
stop and reconnect, re-affirm in a biological way the connection
between mother and child. This affirmation gives the child confidence
to move forward.
The proof is in the pudding, as they say. Here’s a picture of my
independent daughter taking off on her first day of school. She never
looked back. And as for the first myth? Stop by and see me at
www.excitementontheside.com You’ll see my boobs if you hang around a
while. 
-Kelly from excitementontheside.com
Myth: Breastfeeding past a certain age is sexual.
As a nursing mother who advocates child-led weaning, I have encountered my fair share of myths about extended breastfeeding, ranging from mildly amusing to downright frightening. One of the most ridiculous myths I’ve encountered is the idea that once a child reaches a certain age (often 1 or 2 years), breastfeeding stops being about child nourishment and bonding, and becomes an inappropriate act with sexual connotations. Even more concerning is the archaic (and insultingly unfounded) theory that a mother who nurses beyond 2 is compromising her child’s sexual development in some aspect. And by far, the most offensive and absurd manifestation of the myth is that breastfeeding a toddler is equal to sexual abuse/incest.
Sadly, I believe that the old “perception is reality” adage applies here; if a person declares something as sexual, then for them, it is sexual. After all, some adults are turned on by the act of diapering another adult, an act that is definitely not inherently sexual. So, in our western world, a culture wherein breasts are highly sexualized, it isn’t surprising that the act of extended breastfeeding is seen as sexual by so many people. It isn’t shocking that mothers who nurse toddlers in the U.S. are ridiculed and scorned, in spite of the fact that the majority of human beings on our planet breastfeed beyond age 1, and that the average age for a child to wean naturally is between 3-5 years. Most of the naysayers, when met with facts and education about the realities of extended breastfeeding, still view it as shocking and disgusting. But the bottom line is, it doesn’t matter if one person or one billion people share an opinion; their combined opinions do not form a fact. There is nothing inherently sexual about breastfeeding.
So, how does a nursing mother go about debunking such baseless absurdity? It can indeed prove to be an exercise in futility. It has been my unfortunate experience that people who think extended breastfeeding is “weird” do not have open minds, and are not receptive to learning anything that might expose their point of view as irrational and inane. But I am always willing to offer a person links to literature that endorses extended breastfeeding — literature which comes from highly respected and reputable doctors (such as Dr. Bill Sears), anthropologists (such as Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D), health organizations (i.e. W.H.O.), numerous medical journals, etc. However, my favorite factoid to pass along is that, to date, there is NO research or data that points to breastfeeding a toddler as being a damaging act, sexually, or otherwise. So, what most effectively debunks the “nursing a toddler is sexually inappropriate” myth is what is not there to begin with — a shred of evidence to back the claim.
-Elizabeth Daniels, Brandon FL
Myth: It’s not necessary to nurse past one year because breast milk loses its nutritional value.
Reality: Not true. Not even a little true. Actually the opposite is true! Immune benefits actually increase the older the child gets. Breast milk changes and adjusts as your baby grows. Condensing the nutritional properties of your milk and the immune benefits into the amount of milk you make. You know, like how a shot of espresso in your thirties does the work that the seventeen cups of coffee did in your twenties. So as solid food becomes the more prominent part of your little one’s diet, breast milk condenses all of the health benefits into the less milk they do consume. It’s magic really J I love the fact that when one of my kids or I get sick, my milk is already transferring immune boosting bits of awesome and helping them fight their colds. But if you weren’t sold at “bits of awesome”, you can read about all this in more specific and intellectual language here (http://kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/immunefactors/). And also here (http://kellymom.com/nutrition/milk/bmilk-composition/).
Issue: Breastfeeding mothers who think it’s weird/inappropriate/gross to nurse a child past a certain age.
I’ve heard this one a lot. A mom says, “I love breastfeeding! It was so awesome. But a two year old? A three year old? That’s weird.”
Just this week, my baby boy turned three. He nurses about once a day. Sometimes twice. He decides when. It is almost always when he is very tired or hurt. The times when he needs comfort and closeness. There have been many times that I thought he had weaned but, nope, he’s not ready yet. And that’s ok. When I first decided to nurse my children I thought I would wean them at one. I thought that is what you were supposed to do. But on the night of my son’s first birthday, as I nursed him to sleep, I saw him comforted and safe. Still a baby. Still needing to nurse. I was sure in that moment I would let him decide when to wean. But then, I got pregnant. He weaned during my pregnancy with his sister because he was frustrated that my milk was gone. It was traumatic for him and it broke my heart. He was 18 months old. When the milk returned and his baby sister came to be with us, he would watch as I nursed her and he seemed sad. I offered to nurse him. He nursed. He looked up to me and he smiled. And that moment is one I will never forget. His relief erasing the sadness of his first weaning. So the idea that this beautiful experience with my baby boy is seen as gross or weird just makes me sad. And to be honest, it makes me angry too. Every child is different. And every mother is different. No child can be expected to follow the same growth, development, or same anything of another child. Some children are ready to go to Kindergarten at four and half, some five, others at six. Everyone understands that. So then why would weaning be any different? There is no set age for when a child will naturally wean. My son is nursing less this month than he did last month. He seems to be doing just fine in determining when he is ready. He’ll get there. In his time. And it makes me happy to know that when he does wean, it will be on his terms.
For more information on weaning, you can start here (http://www.llli.org/ba/aug94.html )
-Colleen from theadventuresofthefamilypants.com
Myth: Once a child reaches a certain age, they should be given pumped breastmilk from a cup.
Coming from a place where I struggled throughout my breastfeeding journey to maintain my milk supply, it’s laughable to me when people comment that once my daughter turned one, that she no longer needed to breastfeed straight from “tap”, but rather, I should be pumping and giving her breast milk in a cup. The only party this benefits is, well, the people it makes uncomfortable to watch me nurse my toddler. Pumping is not an easy job. Breastfeeding is the easiest, formula feeding is harder, pumping is the hardest. Breast milk comes straight from the breast, is the perfect temperature, and the perfect amount per feeding. Formula comes mostly prepared, just add water (although there is washing, sterilizing bottles, and mixing the formula). Pumping takes a lot of time and energy to produce the right amount of milk, heating it to the perfect temperature, PLUS all the bottle washing, sterilizing all the components of a pump, and adhering to the very specific rules of proper storing. Then there are the potential issues you can run into like I did. I had to return to work when my daughter was 4 months old. I pumped at work three times a day and since I have always dealt with low supply, I struggled to maintain a milk supply to supplement the time I was away from home. It’s not as easy as putting cones on your breasts and turning a machine on and the milk just comes pouring out. It is a very intricate process that left me drained at the end of the day and wishing I could toss that machine in the trash. I suppose to really understand why pumping is not an easy task, you must first understand how our breasts function during breastfeeding. Prolactin must be present for milk synthesis to occur. When the breast is full, prolactin cannot enter the prolactin receptors, so the rate of milk synthesis decreases. When the breast is emptied, prolactin can now pass through the receptors and milk synthesis increases. This is now where I make my point: PUMPING DOES NOT EFFECTIVELY REMOVE MILK FROM THE BREAST LIKE A CHILD DOES. When the breast is not properly being emptied often, milk supply dramatically decreases. In order to maintain an efficient supply to pump and then give in a cup, one would spend their entire day attached to a machine. It is just more logical to nurse directly from the breast than to struggle to maintain a supply just to make a few people more comfortable. Besides, if I’m nursing in my own home (seeing as how most toddlers nurse only a handful of times a day or less—that number drops even more the older they get) who does nursing my toddler affect? No one, except my nursling and me.
-Courtney
**Jamie’s note- Courtney beautifully summed up the stress of pumping and how it does not always work with our anatomy. This myth bugs me so much I thought I’d chime in, too. Breastfeeding has much more to it than nutritional value. Breastfeeding also serves a way to comfort, bond, and build emotional attachment with your child (this is not the only way to bond and attach, but it is definitely one of many). Would you hug your child using a machine or your own arms? Breastfeeding should not be avoided just because someone else does not understand it. **
Myth: If you breastfeed your baby past infancy they will not learn to eat enough solid foods.
I know a lot of people think that extended (after 6 months, after 12 months after any one of a number of ages) nursing will mean a baby/child will not eat enough solid food. I have heard pediatricians tell moms who’s 8 month olds are not excited by solids tell them to cut out a nursing session or two. I can totally see why people would think this. If a couple of assumptions our society makes were true then this would be reasonable. But those assumptions are flawed. Assumption number one, all babies do things on a set schedule. Assumption number two, nursing is just about food.
Assumption 1. Babies do everything on their own schedule, the range of normal is massive. A baby can be just fine and walk at 9 months or at 13. A baby can start speaking at one year or two. And a baby might love solids at 6 months (and may indicate readiness by pulling your food off your plate and stuffing it into their mouth) or be resistant and just experiment until they are 18 months. There are a lot of nursing moms who find their kids take to solids with great gusto and there are a lot of formula feeding moms who are still giving their younger toddler most of their calories that way. My personal experience is a mostly formula fed kiddo who only really started eating for calories at about 16 months and a nursing little one who ate larger servings than her big brother by the time she was 8 months old. She is still nursing at two and a half. And she still eats more than he does many days (he is 4).
Assumption 2. Babies nurse for food, for comfort, for immunities, for cuddle time, for a whole bunch of reasons. Nursing keeps happening even when babies are getting most of their nutrition from food, it just doesn’t happen every hour for 45 minutes like it does with newborns (or no mother could cope). It happens in “drive by” sessions here and there through out the day. Or as one nursing session while they fall asleep (or when they hurt themselves). Or in a number of other scenarios. The time frame for each child is different but I know a lot of mothers nursing 2 (and up) year olds and no-one is nursing them 8 times a day.
So babies can nurse into toddlerhood and eat solid food.
-Sarale
Myth: Nursing beyond infancy is more about the mother’s needs, than the child’s.
Of the many misconceptions that I have heard about toddler nursing, this is one that has me scratching my head the most. It’s one I hear with increasing frequency. That mothers who do not wean their children by a certain deadline are worried more about their own needs and attempt to artificially prolong dependency.
Anyone who has ever tried to cajole an unwilling toddler into doing….well anything….knows it’s not an easy task. Even something as simple as managing three meals a day can be an epic battle. “Let’s eat dinner.” “NO!” A child who is ready to wean will not continue to nurse. However, a mother may continue to nurse her child beyond her predicted timeline when she sees that it is still important to the well being of her individual child. Clearly, it is not a matter of an unwilling child continuing to nurse to meet mom’s needs.
People will say it’s about independence and discipline – that nursing mothers fail to discipline the child to become independent because the mother wishes to have him dependent as long as possible. So, the thinking is that in order to meet a child’s needs, mom must push him towards independence by weaning even if he isn’t ready? Couldn’t this be construed as mom trying to force her will to have an “independent” child to meet her own needs? Why can’t we just assume that as parents we are ALL trying to meet our children’s needs in the best way we know how?
Children don’t go from infant to big kid overnight; it is a slow process. And emerging independence is a part of that process. As parents, we look for the cues from our individual children. For some of us, that includes when a child is ready to wean. And yes, mom’s needs are considered, although typically that means setting limits on nursing over time to achieve a balance between a need for space and a child’s need to nurse. It’s really not any different than any other element of the parent-child relationship over the course of childhood.
-MD
I have to admit that in the past few weeks I heard the “Nursing beyond infancy is more about the mother’s needs, than the child’s” spiel so many times I was starting to doubt myself and my reasons for nursing my son until HE is finished. I started to think maybe it’s because I felt robbed of a beautiful homebirth which was replaces with a super shitty C-Section. MAybe it was because my mother in law was killed tragically when she was hit by a car 5 weeks after my son’s birth. Maybe it was because I was diagnosed with both PPD and PTSD. I started to think that the places where I had been weakened were being made stronger by nursing and that perhaps this was more about me than my son. But I am strengthened by this being labeled as a myth, and I realize that I do this for US. Both my son and I benefit so greatly from our nursing relationship, how could it be anything BUT beneficial? Thank you!
I am so sorry you have had so much sorrow, Erin.
I think one of the problems with the myth about extended nursing being for the mother’s needs and not the child’s is that it pushes this even weirder myth that we should not have any needs fulfilled by our children. There are some needs that only our children can meet, and there is nothing inherently unhealthy about that. I think it is a gift that you have both been able to benefit so beautifully from nursing, no need to question or apologize for that.
Blessings and hope for a more peaceful time to come.
Erin, I just wanted to chime in with another thought. La Leche League recommends breastfeeding as long as the nursing relationship is *mutually beneficial.* Breastfeeding has health benefits for both baby and mama- why should emotional benefits be any different?
Hugs, mama. Keep breastfeeding <3
Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to heal from awful experiences such as yours Erin. Mama’s needs matter!!! There is nothing shameful about gaining something from a loving, nurturing act like breastfeeding.
It’s funny how alot of people who claim ‘breastfeeding is just fulfilling the mother’s needs’ then go on to spout that they weaned so they could have more ‘me time’ or so that ‘dad could bond with the baby’.
Do what works for YOU honey, forget the haters!
I bf my daughter until she was 4, and I know many people felt it was for me….and it was in a lot of ways. But there came a time when I was done and had to wean her. She would happily hop back on now if I allowed her, but it was no longer feeling mutually beneficial so I stopped. Despite the fact that WE BOTH loved breastfeeding and it was doing us both good, physically & emotionally, there are still those who judge and pressured us to do it their way!
Such a great post… Thank you for sharing. I am a nursing mom who is approaching babies first birthday and have a little anxiety about the pressure I’m receiving from other people to wean at 1. I know that she is not ready, so instead, I plan to follow her lead! =)
I always thought breast feeding a toddler was a little odd, but now my baby will turn one on Friday (!!!) and I am SO not ready to wean. He hasn’t shown any hint that he’s ready either. I have a question though: do you ever get to take a weekend away? I’d really like to have the baby take some quality grandma time, while my husband and I take some quality couple time… But I just don’t see that happening until he’s weaned. I mean, sure, I can pump, but the babe has never been much for the bottle, and really, I can’t blame him, because my milk always smells nasty to me once it’s been pumped (like sour milk, even when it’s less than a day old). This is really the main argument I can see for starting to wean right now.
Hey Meagan! I just wanted to respond to your question with my own experience. You don’t have to wean if you and your son are not ready. This July I am taking two days away and the kids are staying home with daddy. My youngest nursling will be 17 months. I am pumping so that she has some milk for that time but she is also eating a pretty well rounded diet and isn’t as dependant on the nutrition of the milk like when she was under one. If your little one is eating well, maybe you could try putting your pumped milk in a sippy cup for their time at grandmas? Some babes just don’t like bottles
My girl hates them lol But she will take my milk in a sippy. So you have actually touched on another myth! That mama can’t spend anytime away from her toddler is she is still nursing them. If baby is comfortable with grandma and you are comfortable taking a day/night away, then you can just resume nursing once you are together again.
I had the same experience with my pumped milk, it tasted awful – here’s why http://breastfeedingbasics.info/lipase-and-bad-tasting-breast-milk . I was not ready to leave my little one before she was 2. And even then the first time away was very hard. In the meantime we would take my MIL along on trips with us so that we could easily have evenings or time out. The stress of leaving before my baby was ready outweighed or totally cancelled out any relaxing effect it might have had on me. I realized that I was feeling pressure from other peoples expectations for me to get away when I was really perfectly happy to keep things as they were for the time being – I just needed to feel normal, and I was. Also, consider that separation anxiety peaks during the second year. Before age 2 children cannot understand the concept of you returning when you are gone. Therefore, they can experience extreme grief and trauma during a prolonged absence. The day will come sooner than you think. Enjoy these early months. As a mother of a 5 and 9 year old I can assure you they fly by!!!
The milk smelling/tasting nasty, does this happen right after you’ve pumped or after it sits for a bit? If it’s after it sits you may have excess lipase which causes the milk to tastes sour/soapy. There are resources on the Le Leche League Mother to Mother forums and on kellymom.com on how to remedy this.
http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/milkstorage/lipase-expressedmilk/
Thanks for the replies! I had no idea there might be a reason for the gross milk, I just figured I was weird.
@Erin The plan was to take our time nearby so we could come and get him if he was just too unhappy. WE are definitely ready. It’s something I want to do, not just something I feel like we should do.
Hi Meagan,
I have a friend who seperated from her husband when her baby was around 1 year old, and he would often take the bub for the weekend. She didn’t pump or anything, and while her supply did decrease, he has always been happy to pick it up where he left off when he was with her, and not have it while with daddy. By a year old, your supply is probably flexible enough that it won’t matter too much, just express for comfort if your feeling engorged and give bubs free access to the breast when you return.
A really lovely article. I hope society soon learns that what most people think about nursing toddlers and older kids is so untrue. Its great to have an article like this to address some of the common myths. And thank you for being a voice for this- as a mummy nursing a 1.5yo im still at the beginning of this journey but i hope to end it when my baby/ child is ready and people like you make that a little easier every time the right imformation is shared around the world. I wrote a little poem about the humourous side of nursing toddlers i thought you might like it; http://thebreastofrhymes.wordpress.com/2012/03/27/you-know-youre-nursing-a-toddler-when/
x
I love this post! It helps me feel okay with still nursing my 16 m/o baby girl. I had intended on nursing through 6 mos and then weaning. Then came her 1st birthday and we were in transition, so I didn’t want to put her through too much stress. Now at 16 mos old, she still nurses when she goes to bed and through the night sometimes. She was recently sick and couldn’t hold anything down; she was becoming dehydrated. I was so thankful I was still able to nurse her and allow her to get better and get the fluids/nutrients that she needed through breastmilk. I too tried pumping, but in a working environment, it’s not feasible always and I was always left with half-full and sore breasts. Allowing the baby to nurse directly from the breast is the best way for both mom and baby. I agree that it is a chance for mom and baby to reconnect and to show the baby that they are safe and secure. It’s a great feeling knowing that I am providing that nurturing to my baby. It’s not sexual by any means, breastfeeding does not provide that euphoric rush, it’s a different feeling of comfort knowing that your baby is secure and getting what she needs. If I had it my way, I would be done with breastfeeding simply because I do want my body back but it’s not time – and in all honesty, I will probably be sad when the time comes to wean. I do look forward to forging that bond with my child through other means, quiet reading/snuggle time or other activities. Until then, I will continue to nurse my baby to sleep and know that she’s confident, secure, and healthy.
Yes you can leave your child overnight and resume nursing when you are reunited. Many moms pump wean after a year. No other milk substitute is needed if your child is nursing three times a day. Your pump smells sour due to an excess lipase issue, which can be resolved by scalding the milk after it’s pumped prior to storing. Kellymom’s has good info on excess lipase and scalding.
On the “sexual” one, I think people think of men licking nipples rather than how it works when a child nurses. When a child is latched on properly, you shouldn’t even feel anything — plus if you nurse regularly your nipples can become pretty desensitized (mine did and I nursed for a little over 2 years). It is SO not a sexual act. People are really uneducated as to how this works.
Another comment on the misinformation out there — the whole “drink breastmilk from a bottle.” This one drives me batshit crazy because they’re sooo offended by a breast but not a weird plastic elongated breast with a huge mutant NIPPLE on top. What do they think a bottle is supposed to be, anyway? And on top of that it makes no damn sense to go to all that trouble to pump when the child can latch on and nurse straight from the source. Also, as it is stated above, pumping doesn’t empty the breast properly and can threaten your supply. Every bit of literature that comes with breast pumps and all the lit I have read and been given said very clearly that nursing has an emotional component and you have to be in a good state of mind to have the let down occur. Health Alberta’s website says: “You sometimes may notice that your milk does not flow easily, or let down, when you attempt to breast-feed or use a breast pump. Emotional stress, fatigue, anxiety, smoking, pain, or being cold are common causes of poor let-down.”
People are just so uneducated it hurts.
I was just going to write to you and say that your debunking of the third myth was by far the most insightful, intelligent and perfect rebuttal of that particular myth I’ve ever read. I’ve had to confront that mentality many times myself in the past and I’m afraid I wasn’t nearly as well spoken as the response above, and in many cases I simply ignored it. I don’t deal with confrontation well. :/
But then I saw you didn’t write it, and somebody else did. Well, even so, I can thank you for posting it, and drawing my attention to it, because it almost made me cry reading it. It’s so correct…these misconceptions aren’t your fault, or mine, or any mother’s…they exist in the heads of others. And it might make us feel like we’re doing something wrong, but we’re not…we’re simply not sharing the warped mindpsace of certain vocal…um…people, for lack of any other polite word I could use.
So thank you to Elizabeth for being so well spoken, and thank you (yet AGAIN!) Jamie for providing such a great platform for discussion.
THANK YOU!
Oh also your email link doesn’t seem to work, it says Try again later. I wasn’t sure if this was on purpose so I wanted to let you know.
I breast fed number one 3 yrs. now nearly 14. Neva ill !!! Bread fed no 2 three and half yrs. I got him off !! He wud carry on !! Now nine !!!! Lovely boys. Not mad. Not bad and damn good looking !!!!!
It may not be sexual, but have your considered that it may be uncomfortable for others to see a 4-5 year old child latched to the breast in public? It can seem disturbing! I myself nursed both my children until they self weaned around the age of four, however, when they reached the 2-3 year mark, I opted to not nurse in public. I personally didn’t care if anyone saw me nursing my child, but I honestly didn’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable.
And just because some people don’t agree with extended breastfeeding and/or feel uncomfortable around someone that continues to EBF doesn’t mean they’re ignorant people. A friend of mine would call first before she came over after Shaliyah turned three and I was still nursing. When I asked her why, she told me that she was repeatedly sexually abused by her parents from the time she was born, and seeing my three year old nurse made her have flashbacks.
Be considerate. Don’t be bitches. If I can compromise, so can all of you.
Interesting perspective. I agree that it can make others feel uncomfortable seeing a 4 year old nursing. But the question should not be “should we not nurse in front of those people?” but rather “why does it make people uncomfortable?”. For some people, they don’t like seeing any children nursing, even newborns. A lot of people are uncomfortable with what they do not know or understand. If you had asked me before I was a mother about nursing a four year old I probably would have been unsure and possibly uncomfortable. But that doesn’t mean I should have the right to stop someone from doing it. I can choose to walk away, or not be present as your friend did. The bottom line is that it is our right to nurse publicly, and our children’s right to be nursed. I also think that it benefits future mothers to see nursing in public as normal and healthy. To be called a bitch for simply comforting your child in the way you see fit is completely out of line. I respect your decision to nurse your kids in private, please respect my reasons for choosing to nurse in public.
Why should a mother be expected to “compromise” on any level when it comes to feeding her child? Especially when that compromise is on the terms of a stranger who has no vested interest in the well-being of the child? I ask these questions rhetorically, because the last portion of your comment was nothing short of ridiculous, as well as completely incongruent with the tone of the rest of your comment. In fact, I can’t help but feel that the bulk of the comment was disingenuous fluff (albeit sensible) that set the stage to deliver the kicker for how you really feel. If I’m wrong, then I apologize.
I am backing everything you ladies have just commented on. Our job is to raise our children to the best of our ability- publicly and privately. There should be no shame or hiding in parenting. If it upsets someone else they can look away or not be present. It is a basic human right. I remember watching an interview in a cultural Anthropology class dealing with racism in the 60s. A white woman was raped by a black man and she was speaking out against interracial relationships because it pained her to look at couples of different races- basically a trigger. This was a horrible thing that happened to this woman, but she still had no right to control healthy relationships based on her trauma. That is essentially the same thing. Feeding, comforting, and loving our children is a basic human right. We should not have to hide something healthy for our families- that would be completely irrational.
Simple- other people’s comfort is not my responsibility. It’s why we were born with necks!!
There is nothing wrong with a woman giving milk from the booby.
Great list and I agree with pretty much all of it. On the part about it only being about the mother’s needs I always wonder why anyone would think that the mother’s needs are not important when it comes to their child anyway. Natural term breastfeeding is a two-way street in every respect and it does address the mother’s needs, yes. Those needs include returning to feeling good about your tantrum-throwing, overtired nearly three year-old when you nurse him and the oxytocin kicks in and reminds you of how wonderful he really is despite the meltdown. I’m sure it feels just the same for him, too. “Oh, that’s right mummy isn’t that crazy lady that eventually started yelling when I was freaking out. She’s this nice cosy lady with the milk and the cuddles, too.” Get that from a sippy cup exchange.
LOL your last sentence had me spitting out my drink. That is awesome.
I am still feeding my little girl and she’ll be 3 in November, I have alot of negitive reaction to my feeding-including my mum and my partner! My atitude is none of your buisness, no-ones asking for your opinion and i’ll feed till she decides to ‘sack’ me but at the moment we are both very happy and enjoying the closeness that feeding brings
I breastfed my son past 2 years. Towards the end, he only nursed at nap time, bedtime, if he got hurt and maybe once through the night. My next son, I was forced to stop aroubd 10-11 months. I had gotten ill & the medication wasn’t safe for him. I think that traumatize d him. Now he is difficult at times. But getting better. He is 3 1/2. I also have a new baby, 6 1/2 months. She nurses on her time. I don’t have any plans on stopping until she is ready. She’s my 5th child and last. I didn’t nurse my first 2 and regret it. Althought I don’t think it would have lasted.