“My Two Moms Story” by Kiara Lie

“My Two Moms Story” by Kiara Lie
1

Kiara Lie and her biological mother, Lissie.

This guest post was written by Kiara Lie.

 My moms’ story begins with my father’s departure. He left the family when I was just a teenager. She had married him at nineteen years-old, and after eighteen years of marriage ending, my mom was ruined. Now in her late thirties, she was single with three kids to provide for.

Kiara's biological mother with her wife.

Kiara’s biological mother, Lissie, with Lissie’s wife, Vangie.

That’s when she met my other mother.  At first they denied their relationship. They always feared what others—especially family—would say. But even though they never kissed, held hands, or showed any signs of affection for each other in front of me, I knew. I had to sit down with them and tell them, “Mom, I know about you two, and I accept it, please don’t hide who you really are.”

Being a teenager with two mothers wasn’t really as different as you might think. The only difference was when I introduced my family to a new friend, my friend’s reaction to my two moms might have been a little different, a little bit more surprised, than if I had introduced them to a mom and a dad. Thankfully, in high school most of my friends were understanding and simply didn’t care if I had two mothers. There were a couple of students who, because of their religion, looked down on, mocked, and talked badly about same-sex parents, and how it would raise “confused” kids. They thought that me and my younger siblings having same-sex parents would turn us gay as well, or make us confused, or cause us to live a life of immorality.

I remember in the 11th grade, some students and I were having an open discussion about same-sex marriage, and one of the girls in class rudely looked at me and yelled, “Gay people are just confused people, they don’t deserve to ruin the sanctity of marriage.” Of course, I was upset at her rude remarks and after giving her a mean look, instead of being mature and defending myself, I stood up and grabbed the desk to throw at her. The rage I felt, the deep sadness that came over me, was too overwhelming to react in a mature manner. All I wanted was to hurt her, so she felt how I felt, how my family felt. I was stopped by a few classmates and my teacher let me go to the restroom and cool down.

8

The only time that Lissie and Vangie showed they were a same-sex couple – by wearing “Proud Mom of an Army Soldier” shirts.

Once I graduated high school, things got a little worse. More people would speak badly about same-sex marriage, not knowing I had two mothers. At first, I got offended, but the older I got the less it hurt. Now I understand that some people just don’t get it, maybe it was the way they were raised, or maybe society peer pressured them to think that way until it became their inner voice.

9

Lissie and Vangie with Kiara’s husband, Tim.

Now, if someone speaks badly, or doesn’t understand, I try to help them out by giving them another side of the story, or I just step aside and let them be. But there’s a part of me who still hurts inside. My parents have never kissed, held hands, or shown affection towards each other in front of me. All, because of their fear of public humiliation or aggression towards their lifestyle.  As a wife and now mother to a fourteen month-old daughter, it pains me to see other couples, even my husband and I, who are able to publicly display their affection, knowing that my parents can’t without fear of other people’s reactions. I hope that one day this society learns that what makes same-sex parenting difficult on children is an unaccepting society, not our same-sex parents. I had all the love in the world, got everything I ever needed, just like any other family would have. Mine was just a little special, mine had two amazing mothers, instead of one. One day, I will see my mothers say “I Do” to each other. Until then, I will defend and educate anyone who is willing to listen.

4

Kiara baby-wearing her daughter, Audrey.


Related Articles

Children

Copyright J. Grumet. Violators will be prosecuted.

Sarah Breedlove Walker – A Single Working Mom & Philanthropist

“An illiterate, impoverished daughter of freed slaves built the largest black-owned business in America, made a fortune, and touched thousands

Butterflies

My family and I recently visited the Santa Barbara Natural History Museum to see the “Butterflies Alive” exhibit.  I wanted

20 comments

Write a comment
  1. Kiara 17 June, 2013, 09:11

    Thank you so much for the oppurtunity to write this and have it in the public eye. I hope it opens the hearts of many.

    Reply this comment
  2. Gilka 17 June, 2013, 09:23

    I love love love it! Beautiful story! Love you kiara

    Reply this comment
  3. Kristen 17 June, 2013, 09:34

    A beautiful witness. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Reply this comment
  4. Gabriela 17 June, 2013, 09:59

    This story was amazing knowing what you guys went threw and knowing that you guys have an awesome family. I hope someday people stop being so ignorant and realize that it doesn’t matter if you are gay or straight they still have the right to love who they wanna love. Kiara you did a great job

    Reply this comment
  5. kirk 17 June, 2013, 14:17

    Thank you for this article. Great read. It sucks that so many people let a 400 year old version of a 2000 year old story make up their minds for them.

    Reply this comment
  6. Nadia 17 June, 2013, 15:33

    This is beautiful. I hope someday when our world is more progressive and accepting your moms will feel able to show affection to each other in public, and in front of you.

    Reply this comment
  7. Olga Piccolo 17 June, 2013, 16:48

    I am very happy to have read this story. I have a friend whose kids also had the same reaction, very accepting, now they are expecting their first grandchild. I do not see the big deal in why people have so many issues, me and my husband go thru a lot because of a bi-racial couple, in this century, people need to grow up… Congrats to your mothers for sharing their love to the children, showing how normal it is. Love is love no matter what.

    Reply this comment
  8. cece dunn 17 June, 2013, 20:24

    Kiara this was beautiful. If no one can see the amazing woman that two mothers have raised, or see that and can say that’s not right, then they need to look within And realize that love is love. And those two beautiful women showed you the best love there is…. True love.

    Reply this comment
  9. Sarah Hart 18 June, 2013, 05:19

    Great article. It’s about time modern society got ‘modern’ and changes the laws that prevent same sex couples from wedding. It’s legal in some states or other countries, whilst outlawed in others. Ridiculous. Love is love.

    Reply this comment
  10. Brooke Guddat 18 June, 2013, 06:29

    What an awesome story <3 I had no idea you had 2 moms! No wonder you are so rad :)

    Reply this comment
  11. Samantha 18 June, 2013, 06:52

    A beautifully, honest story clearly written from the heart. Kiara, im sure your momS are so proud of the woman and mother you have become.

    It’s a shame that in today’s world so many people want to focus so much negative energy on 2 people loving each other.

    As a CHRISTIAN mother, I applaud you Kiara, your momS and everybody who finds love x

    Reply this comment
  12. Ina 18 June, 2013, 06:57

    I love this story it made me tear up!! <3

    Reply this comment
  13. Kelly 18 June, 2013, 08:26

    So proud of you & your Moms! I can’t wait till they can tie the knot :-) Yay to awesome Mums x

    Reply this comment
  14. Kelsey 18 June, 2013, 15:41

    Beautifully written, Kiara. With your big heart, vast intelligence, and your way with words, you , you will continue to enlighten and inform people. It’s people like you that help break down the walls of ignorance and hatred that are out there in this world. And you are raising a beautiful little girl who will carry on your legacy. Your beauty, inside and out, is a testament to how wonderful your mommies are. They raised an amazing woman, who will raise an amazing girl. Generations of strong, intelligent, beautiful women, all because two women fell in love. I pray for the day when they can be legally married. They deserve that much. When Iowa passed the
    law allowing same sex couples the right to get married, I cried tears of joy. My aunt Jenn got to marry her soulmate, Jen, and now they are raising a beautiful little boy, Charlie. My aunt Jenn gave birth to him last year. I’ve never felt so happy. I know that Charlie’s going to grow up in a home filled with love and support. I couldn’t imagine two better parents then my aunts. I am so happy for them and their little family. My friends from England, Stephen and John, recently adopted Indian twins, a boy and a girl. Those children are so very loved. I know they will grow up to be amazing people, just like their parents. Just like you grew up to be, and just like Audrey will grow up to be. I am always so proud of you, Kiara. It’s truly an honor to call you my friend. Keep knocking down those walls of ignorance with your compassion and wisdom.

    Reply this comment
  15. Alison Brown De Moreno 11 August, 2013, 23:52

    A friend on mine directed me here just to read this.

    My wife and I are currently beginning the process of IVF and constantly wonder if we are doing the right thing. I know in theory we would make the perfect parents but in practice you hear so much how you would be ruining the children.

    I will be printing this out so that I can read it to my partner and then save it for my future children to read. It is so affirming to hear adult children speak out in defense of their same sex parents. Further that they be intelligent well adjusted people pushes the point even further that we can raise children correctly

    Thank you.

    Reply this comment
    • Kiara 15 September, 2013, 22:10

      Thank you for letting my story be a part of your life. I hope it has helped you <3

      Reply this comment
    • Jessica 16 September, 2013, 05:58

      Of course you’re doing the right thing! The world needs more loving parents than it doesstraight parents, raise your children with love, compassion, and acceptance and you’ll have done everything you can.

      Reply this comment
  16. Cyndi 11 January, 2014, 07:15

    My beautiful biracial daughter is also named Kiara and when I show her this story, she will be proud that you share her name.

    Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Your e-mail address will not be published.
Required fields are marked*