Well, it happened. Brian had his first interview.
An attachment parent or a badass? I am going with both.
We received an email a few weeks ago for an interview request. What made us excited was it wasn’t for me, it was for Brian! They wanted to get his views on AP. This is the first time anyone has ever asked to talk to him about it.
“It’s about damn time!” Brian said. I agreed. We were excited and said yes before we had time to really let it sink in. Here is the thing: Brian has a fear of interviews or speaking in public. Oddly enough, his job requires him to be really hands on with strangers every day, but when it comes to giving a specific set of responses and trying to get a message across- he freezes up. He’d never been asked for an interview like this before, but job interviews- ugh, those were stressful times in our house. He was so excited someone finally wanted to talk to him, a dad, about this subject, that he sucked it up and didn’t even mention his fear of interviews.
The day finally came and the interviewer came over to our apartment to interview Brian. It was very casual and I was invited to be there with him during his interview. Well, that was all of our first mistake. Brian is always the strong one of the two of us in the relationship, physically and emotionally- he is tough. Seeing him vulnerable made me get really protective over him. I saw the fear in his eyes, wanting to say the right thing and please the woman interviewing us (she was lovely)- he had the look I had during my Today Show interview- complete shellshock.
I did what I do best- talk…a lot. I was jumping into the conversation. I was used to answering a lot of these questions, but also Brian and I take to parenting differently and I think that is why I am more ready to jump in to answer questions. Brian is more “let’s do what feels right” kind of parenting. I’m more “let’s see what the science is behind why this feels right” kind of parenting. Complimentary to each other, but totally different. So, while Brian may not have detailed answers other than “It works for us and it is natural and easy for our family” I would want to jump into a monologue about why it works so well, which embarrassingly, I think I did.
I was sitting there attempting to bite my tongue while Brian was working through the interview. I felt like that annoying know-it-all kid in class that would wave their hand at the teacher while she asks another student to answer the question. Luckily, Brian wasn’t distracted by my well-intentioned hijack of his interview. He got much more comfortable as he progressed, which led to answers that were much more thoughtful and allowed his message to come through.
So, hopefully I didn’t ruin the interview and his bit will be used for the article because he really does have an important message that deserves to be heard. We are also excited about the article because they are interviewing multiple AP dads, which is brilliant. We can’t wait to read it…Although, I hope they leave out any of my butting in for everyone’s sake.
Overall, this experience made me think about the balance of our personalities in this marriage. Brian said it best when speaking about us at social events or parties. He lets me go like a wind up toy while he sits back. Once I’ve worn out, he collects me and we go home. It is a pretty funny analogy. It’s true in some respects. Brian is more mellow and quiet. When we go out he likes being more stationary, grabbing a drink and having really thorough and meaningful conversations with the people approaching him. I , however, take after my grandmother. I like to be where the action is. I’ll make my rounds around the party, wanting to get to hear about everyone and what they’ve been up to. I think what is great about being so different is that he is the ying to my yang. Neither one of us is better or right in the way we approach things, just different. I’ll dream big and he’ll pull me back just enough so that it can become a reality.
Not every happy marriage seems to be the same. I know some of our good friends literally married their other half – they could be twins. They are so alike it is crazy, and works! I guess that is the great thing about marriage. There are so many ways another person can uplift you and test your strength all at the same time.
What is your marriage like? Are you married to your twin, or your complete opposite? Or maybe something in-between?
I think I have a man crush on Brian. I have to admit. And if he came to ATL with you and you didnt try and join us for dinner I will be upset and demand it for next time. Kids too. Tracy and I are so different. I am the talker and one that stirs the pot and goes on gut and she is the sit back read and research and do whats best from learning and experience. Im glad that we are different because we pick each other up where we fall short. We fit together like a puzzle. Im still trying to get over you being in ATL and not meeting you
I have a crush on Brian, too! You’re not alone!
Next time we’re in Atlanta hopefully Brian is coming and I will definitely make sure to be there enough time to see some friends!
My husband and I are polar opposites. Obviously we have common interests, but our personalities are nothing alike. He’s very black-and-white and absolute, where I always find the grey area and seem to sit in the middle on almost every issue. He’s the aggressive, assertive one and I’m pretty passive.
We tend to compliment each other most of the time, but sometimes we butt heads. The great thing about my husband is that although he is very set in his ways, he always takes time to consider my opinion so that he understands it. He doesn’t always come to agree with me, but he’ll accept my position.
That is so interesting to me! It is so cool hearing about how different people are in marriages and it works well! I love it.
Complete opposite in some ways, but very similar on the big issues. I actually blogged about this yesterday
Oh! How weird! I’m going to check out your blog post!
In college, my friends introduced me to my husband because they thought we were EXACTLY alike, and in some ways we are similar, but in most ways we are quite different. Our interests are very much the same, but our cultures, families, and expectations of ourselves and others are different. I was raised in the Midwest in a Pastor’s family with the mindset that “Idle hands are the Devil’s playground” and that we set an example for those we lead by pouring ourselves out completely and providing the most efficient excellence possible. A wonderful “idea”, except that my family unknowingly worked so hard that it caused chronic conditions that negatively affected our health. My husband seemed to me to be from another world…He would shrug off commitments and certain responsibilities without a second thought in favor of something he would rather be doing. And yet, after 2 years dating, 1 engaged, and 5 married, we have come to meet in the middle. My husband is still more laid-back than I, but has found some motivation to do things with excellence and keep commitments, and he has caused me to stop in the midst of my frenetic “task-oriented” personality to spend time with people and enjoy relaxation instead of feeling guilty that I need it. I am healthier for it, and know that we were brought together because we really do compliment each other well.
My hubby and I are so much alike, but also so different! He is awkward and doesn’t know how to talk to people at first, but warms up, basically forces himself to talk, which almost comes across as annoying. I sit absolutely silent for the first few times I see anybody, which people will mistake as “silently judging” I just am really very shy and can’t open up for a while. My husband is Not a small guy, but he is the smallest of the 5 younger boys in his family.. And I am not a “big” girl, but I am definitely the fattest in my family. We both are so silly and so comfortable with each other, and know when the right time to be serious is. I will admit, I am very selfish, and he is very selfless (something I’ve really been working on since we had our first son 15 months ago, really can’t be selfish anymore)… We both love nature, going on hikes, bike rides, we are both very sweet and loving, we both love our son more than anything, and last but absolutely Not least, we keep God first in our marriage, our house, and our family!
LOL I would probably think both of you hated me the fist few minutes of a conversation. What a great reminder that people size you up within a second of a conversation and really have no idea who you are. We take quiet as judgmental or rude- not shy. Brian is also quiet at first, too.
I think you guys should like you’ve got your priorities straight. How long have you been married?
Ya know, at one point I would have said my husband and I are opposites, but as the years go by, I think we’ve both rolled toward the middle – like our personalities are a waterbed.
We are a lot more alike than different now. Our extremes are still opposite, but they balance and cancel each other out.
I can see us slowly creeping towards the center…it would take years I think to see any real commonalities. Maybe in our old age we’ll be more alike!