My parents have been married for over 40 years.
And not a lukewarm relationship- people who don’t know them often ask if they are newlyweds due to the way that act towards each other
To my Favorite,
People always ask your Mom and I what is our secret to such a strong, loving marriage when they watch the way we love and interact with each other, and then find out later that we have been married for over 40 years. People are mistaken when they think you stop falling in love when you grow old – you grow old when you stop falling in love with each other. The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up. What we love and how we love directs our decisions – we don’t develop by accident.
Mom and I both work hard at our relationship to make it what it is, and this year I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you on what I see are the key points to our successful marriage.
First of all, I want to say that I am so proud of you for the loving woman you have developed into. You are such a wonderful mother and devoted wife. I know you do most of the things I have listed here, but I feel it is always good to step back and look at the big picture now and then to keep that focus. You have been married a relatively short time compared to your Mom and I, and if you keep working hard on your relationship with you husband, I cannot begin to describe to you the joy you will experience as your relationship builds over the years.
I know this for a fact, because this is what your Mom and I have. This is what God promises you for a marriage if you listen to what he has to say and obey Him. God has given me theses word to share with you. What I will be sharing with you are principles from the Bible that I have learned over the years. I am writing to you, but this is to both you and your husband.
- First and foremost – Always Keep God First: He holds everything together (marriage, family, business, etc) — if you let him. A Bible that is falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn’t.
- Never confuse your career with your life. Making a living is not making a life. Don’t get caught up in today’s world thinking where who we are seems less important than what people think we are
- Always remember that a great marriage is not 50/50 – it is each person wanting to give 100 all of the time
- Create passion for life, and for one another
- Whenever you’re wrong – Admit it
- Whenever you’re right – Keep quiet
- Forgive – unconditionally
- Before starting an argument, consider if it is really worth it
- Frame every so-called disaster with these words – “In 5 years, will this matter?”.
- Build intimacy – both sexually and emotionally – throughout your marriage
- Keep romance alive in your marriage – always stay Honeymooners
- Stay committed – the Ten Commandments are not multiple choice. Years of obedience cannot purchase one hour of disobedience.
- Respect each other
- Always make time for the two of you. Remember that the time you two enjoy wasting together is not wasted.
- If you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
- Compliment more that you criticize, and when you do need to criticize, be sure it is constructive
- Always ask yourself in all situations “If my partner had only two days to live, how would I be treating him”. Treat him like that every day for the rest of your life, and you will have best marriage ever.
We come to great love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or did not do.
Remember that God has no grandchildren, only children. You two have got to do your own growing – no matter how tall your parents were! In watching marriages through out my life time, I have learned that everybody wants a great marriage, but in most cases they miss the point that true happiness is obtained in the journey taken and the form used to reach that goal. Smooth seas don’t make skillful sailors. Enjoy your Journey!
All my love,
Yeah, he’s that great.