New York City on that strange day. I wish I would have sat back and enjoy the view a bit more.
Well, I finally watched all the interviews I did the day the TIME cover was released. Brian said it was important for me to see. I can’t stand hearing a recording of my voice, so you can imagine how horrifying it was for me to hear audio accompanied by video! Being shell-shocked is not the best way to be interviewed, I’ve decided. Where was my Xanax when I needed it?
Here are my thoughts on what I just witnessed. Nothing deep- all superficial reactions. Just doing some therapeutic venting:
Today Show- All I see watching this is me going into crazy mama bear mode, and distracted by a mission to help my tired child off of the stage. I was mad at myself that I allowed him on there knowing the time change (it was 3:00 AM Pacific Time when we arrived at the studio). They had us sit on that couch for an hour before the actual segment aired. Then…the time came… Oh, cringe-worthy…..Stopped live TV to ask Aram if he wants to see Brian. Then, I am so frazzled I start jumbling up words like “get the dialogue…(confused and distracted)…talking.” Talking? Good Lord that makes no sense. And someone stole my sunglasses in the makeup room.
That was a live and learn experience, for sure. We decided we were uncomfortable allowing either of the boys to sit through a boring interview again. Our goal for letting Aram to come on the show was to prove he was just a normal kid, not a robot. Well, mission accomplished! His strong will and crankiness when he is bored and tired definitely came through. Of course, I’m sure the weirdos writing about this would love to point out my child was not acting silent and polite. Because I’m sure their three-year-olds would be perfectly behaved in the same situation, right? 
Anyway, from that experience we decided we would allow cameras to capture them playing, but no situation so stressful or boring as a TV set or and other interview scenario (much to the dismay of most of the production teams doing the interviews).
Nightline-I loved JuJu Chang, and they had a fun crew there for filming. We were invited to her home to film. The boys played in her boys’ room while the interview was taking place in another room. She gave the boys a robot set to take home, and that sealed the deal- JuJu was A-okay with them. They especially like saying her name. They call their connect robots “JuJu bots.” It looks like during editing they tried to make Samuel say he liked nursing “before nap time and before bedtime,” but he was talking about Aram. However, I loved that they had Jessica Carey (another mom that participated in the Time cover photo shoot) on.
Hanging out on JuJu Chang’s patio
Erin Burnett- It was a pretty good. Although, it appears as though I tried to redeem my knowledge of the term “dialogue,” because I said about 100 times… Ayayay….Also, Samuel thinks my hair looks like George Washington in the interview (that is his polite way of saying he doesn’t like it).
Extra and Access Hollywood- I should have grown some balls and said no to Extra and Access Hollywood. Extreme fatigue had set in at this point, and I don’t even remember doing the interviews.
And that same ugly blue sweater on for all of it.
Anderson Cooper’s talk show was a week later. I was all set to meet Desmond Tutu prior to the whole TIME cover insanity. Dr. Jay encouraged me to do the interview via Skype. I have to say, I really enjoyed the show’s segment on attachment parenting. Dionna (another mom that participated in the photo shoot), Mayim Bialik, and Dr. Gordon did a great job explaining how normal it is. Anderson Cooper is still crush worthy after my experience (I was worried).
You are awesome for watching all of those! I can’t even listen to a voicemail I left. But I really enjoyed watching your interviews, the Today show was one of my favorites because it was totally real. You came across as a normal mom, which was an excellent way to start off the craziness that followed. The line that will live in infamy from the Juju interview “We shave our armpits.” Yes we do.
I can’t stand leaving a voice mail I left either! I have to immediately hang up! If I go to check it I will delete it….it’s so pathetic. I have no fear recording anything as long as I don’t watch it back. If I know I must rewatch it…oh man, I freeze up.
HAHA we shave our armpits! I can’t believe they put that in!
You did great because you did come across as a real person – not someone looking for fame and willing to do whatever it took to stay in the limelight.
On another note becuase I just noticed… guess you don’t have to be worried about your Alexa rank anymore, LOL!
Thanks Katie! Oh my gosh…the irony of the Alexa score- now I could care less. I keep watching it go down every day! I am guessing it will drop to the lowest point next month and then start creeping back up.
I thought you did very well and handled yourself beautifully! Keep being you, you are amazing!
Thanks Gena!That means a lot coming from you!
Good job Jamie! It’s hard work watching yourself speak! If it makes you feel any better, there’s a video of me speaking on youtube in which I sound like our current Prime Minister Julia Gillard- horribly nasal! But I also know that no one judges themselves as hard as yourself.
Thanks Dr. Gribble! I am sure you sounded great, but I am totally going to check out that video right now! It is nice to know someone with as much experience speaking in front of large groups of people as you also has the same insecurities.
FWIW, your voice is super sweet and I loved watching you. I only caught the Today Show segment, but it was so cool to see you.
Thanks Ronni! That is so crazy that is the first way you really saw me. I thought for sure we would meet in person first!
I finally have to have my say here. I have the privilege of seeing you in action how you care for my Grandsons’ . You do practice what you preach. I thank God everyday that they have you and Brian for their parents. You are doing an awesome job raising them. They are loving, happy and well-balanced!
As for those interviews,
did a great job under tremendous pressure. I am so proud of you! Continue to keep true to yourself!
As we always say in our family. “You be you”!! Dad and I are right behind you all the way!
Love you! Mama
Aw, thanks mama! I love you!
LOL. It is SO hard to watch/listen to oneself! You were remarkable, actually. Very natural and articulate, considering everything! Plus, it really helps to look so gorgeous and be so photogenic. The sweater was cute, missy. Blue is a perfect color for TV.
Your recap of The Today Show experience cracked me up. I think I’m going to laugh about that all day.
LOL I am not photogenic! (but you are aside from what you think!)
The today show was a funny experience off-camera too. I have to tell you about how I followed around Dr. Sears (I am shocked he didn’t think I was insane) and then I almost passed out when I looked over and Stephanie Decker was sitting there.
Hi. You don’t know me and I don’t know you but yes I have seen the Time Magazine cover photos/article and I just couldn’t let all of these images and information out of my head without saying something. If I knew how to comment to all of the other women in the article I would do the same. I am a woman and a mom and to be quite honest I find the image of you and your very much past nursing/breast feeding aged son quite disturbing. Also for the record I am completely against breast feeding in public even though it’s a very natural act to breastfeed an infant it still does not change the fact that I don’t want to see any woman’s exposed naked breast. I am aware that you and your family practice this attachment parenting concept and no I don’t know anything about it, what it means, entails or encompasses but I am curious as to just what age do you plan to stop letting your son feed from your breast? One of the other women in the article actually said she does not think about when she will stop?! Will the child be 8, 10, 13? Again the only word that comes to mind is disturbing. I am assuming that at the core of the attachment parenting belief is among many other things to simply be the best parent you can be for your children and raising them happy and healthy but honestly I just do not see how letting a child older than 1.5 to maybe 2 yrs. feed on your breast will help to accomplish this. Also I think worthy of noting is that here on your blog site of the many pictures you have posted of yourself and your family I have seen none of your son latched on to your breast and so I’m wondering why not? yet one can find a picture of you with your far past infant aged son latched on to your breast on the cover of a national magazine.
Children naturally wean between 2 and 7 years old. They actually lose the ability to nurse. They also lose the need. When they are allowed to wean naturally, the physical and emotional needs are met in a way that they can’t be when not nursing.
Hi sdp thanks for commenting. Your use of the word “disturbing” is very unfortunate. There are multiple posts on my blog from Dr. Katherine Dettwyler on the topic of breastfeeding (what is biologically normal for our species). I would also suggest you check out her layman’s article on the topic: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
You have to remember the western world has very abnormal views of sexuality and breasts. It does not coincide with our biology or the majority of cultures of the world. I urge you to educate yourself on natural human weaning times. When people educate themselves on others’ lives it often takes away any preconceived judgement. That is such a better way to live.
As far as the photos of my children breastfeeding- I have photos of both of my children on here breastfeeding well past infancy. My life and this blog does not revolve around breastfeeding (it is a very small part of life). I am posting for others to see how we live and to build relationships with people. It is not to condemn other ways of live, but to show that our life is fulfilled and should be accepted by western society. My background is in Anthropology and I am a second generation attachment parent. My husband and I choose to raise our children in this way because we are educated on the topic, and my own personal experience as a child being raised by an AP family.
You can read more about my thoughts and the other mothers who participated in the photo shoot here: http://kellymom.com/blog-post/time-apmoms-interview/
My comment moderator almost didn’t allow your comment because of your use of the word disturbing, but decided to take it to me because he didn’t understand your intention. I do not believe your comment was malicious, but this blog is meant as a safe place (no name calling or hateful words)- so please if you comment further refrain from using that term. The moderator will not approve it.
Hope this opens up your eyes to the many loving ways to parent children that become great adults. If you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to ask!
I do not see how a mother doing the BEST thing she can do for her child and giving her child the BEST nutrition is disturbing? Thats saddens me to read that. Please take some time to educate yourself on nursing past infancy. http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/ As far as your women’s exposed breast comment….. most women do not just whip it out for all to see, most women are very discreet when they are nursing but if you don’t want to see it dont look! I do not want to see women prancing around half naked at the mall or at the beach, and I certainly don’t want to watch people shove fast food in their faces so I simply turn my head the other way. I believe that many people feel this way because of the lack of omen nursing their children in public. Women don’t nurse older children in public as often because of things like this. The more women nurse in public the better off things will be able to become and people will see it as normal, which is what it is. One last thing, children who are led to self wean end up being socially stable. Children who have their needs met turn into loving caring responsible adults. If you are open to it I would advise taking sometime to research the benefits of nursing older children, the benefits extend to society also saving taxpayers money in medical costs. Breastfeeding is good for the child, mother and the economy .
Jaime please keep up your great work!
i sincerely hope you take the time to read the articles posted below your comment. i too am a mom and i have a 2.5 yo boy. before i had children i was very anti nursing in public and even more anti nursing past infancy. i will very proudly say that i was young and ill-informed. i continue to nurse my 2.5 yo because it’s natural for us. i fail to see why there should be a intervention in a breastfeeding relationship because of cultural perspective. i enjoy breastfeeding, my son enjoys breastfeeding, and there isn’t anyone in the world who can tell us to stop until either one of us is personally ready.
i’m sorry you find breastfeeding in public disturbing. personally, I wouldn’t have opted for a photo shoot like Jamie did, but she was comfortable with it and that’s all that matters. but back to real life… if you find something disturbing – look the other way. it’s that simple. maybe not easy, but i promise we will all be happier when we all choose to not judge or put labels on each other.
I actually decided not to watch your interviews based on something you wrote earlier in the blog, when I first found it, or soon after. I’d have to dig to find it but I think you said something about regretting doing them, so I didn’t want to watch. If you felt embarrassed in any way at all, I didn’t want to add to that embarrassment, even though I know at heart you did wonderfully. Just reading your response to the “sdp” comment above mine shows me how eloquent and well-spoken and…well, forgive my french, but ****ing intelligent you are. So even if you stumbled in an interview when you were put on the spot, nothing detracts from that. You’re a beautiful human being (physically and otherwise, so deal with it! lol) and smart as a whip. I don’t need to see the interviews to know that…I can just keep reading your collected thoughts, and having a lot of fun and feeling very impressed and honored along the way.
Just my two cents.
Mandy- you are so cool. Thank you so much for the lovely compliments. And the fact that you didn’t watch the interviews because I said I regretted doing some of them? Wow- I don’t even have words to express how wonderful and thoughtful that is. I am so happy the cover has allowed me to start friendships with such loving people I would have otherwise never met. I am so appreciative of you and can’t wait to get to know you better!
Please let me clarify that my use of the word disturbing was purely and only to convey my personal feelings and thougts of the subject/images and in no way to imply that Mrs. Grumet nor her family were disturbing and so I apologize for the misunderstanding and my mis-use of the word and I do see now how it could or would be entirely misconstrued if that is what happened. Again, I am not familiar with attachment parenting however I believe it largely includes based upon the little information I have read on it so far that the child themself should be the determining factor if you will for when they are ready to naturally wean themselves hence the much older breast fed child. I do not see the rationale behind this as a 2-7 yr. old child has no idea what is best for him/her. As for the western world’s abnormal views of sexuality and breasts I can assure you that being a woman living her entire life in the western world I am QUITE well aware of it’s views. For myself this simply has nothing to do with sexuality and is to be blunt well that kid is just too old to be breastfeeding and it makes me ardently question if by doing so this is actually lending to the child’s further well development or just the opposite? However I also realize this is an entirely subjective argument and every parent/family is different yet I still fail to see how breasfeeding a child much past the age of 1.5 to 2 yrs. would be beneficial in any way particularly in our Western world society and not due to the whole breasts and sexuality views but on the contrary I feel may be due to our more progressed and not regressed society or simply put it has too much the feeling of a more primitive(for lack of a better word) idea and or practice to a society that is simply too advanced, or so we like to believe, to embrace it. And as for the women breast feeding in public well honestly I am seeing more and more that yes they are just whippin it out right there for all to see and when I do see it I do turn my head the other way and I agree breastfeeding is best for the child and am not saying it shouldn’t be done in public but I do feel it should be done with much more discreteness than it’s currently being given.
My advice to you is to become educated on the topic of natural human weaning times (not necessarily “attachment parenting”). Most of the concerns you are bringing up will be explained by doing scholarly research on the topic. Saying your child cannot possibly know what is best for him and her isn’t really a relevant point on this topic. Children are born with a biological sucking reflex, the ability to breathe, express emotion among a host of other things. This is not allowing our child to choose what is best for them. Child-led (led not directed) weaning is about understanding the body’s function and allowing the biological process of weaning take its course. It is difficult to explain in a comment.
“regressed” and “primitive” are very hurtful words if you are referring to the developing world. Spending my life between western and developing societies I assure you there is nothing “primitive” about their practices. This is a bit of a generalization, but the Western world fails in comparison when it comes to emotional and spiritual fulfillment. Westerners live in a society of technology and material wealth, but we could learn so much about community from other less developed areas of the world.
You did specifically say you are completely against breastfeeding in public. I think another misconception is that breastfeeding is immodest. An idea specifically derived from our Puritan roots. Breasts are sexual in our culture because have created the idea that the glands should be viewed in this way. Dr. Paul Okami (Professor of Psychology at UCLA) has wonderful research articles on the topic of exposure to non-sexual forms of nudity in childhood and the benefits to a child’s body image when they become adults. The bottom line- it is beneficial for our children to publicly see breastfeeding (although rarely is ever true “nudity” involved in it). By teaching our children are bodies are not shameful and serve many more purposes than just sex it allows them to be more confident as adults (and abstain from sex and peer pressure to have sex until they are emotionally ready!) – From my own childhood I also can confirm this research to have been true in my own life.
So, even if this is not a way you want to raise your child (and that is fine, there are many loving ways to raise children) it should be a socially acceptable way to raise mine. It has worked in my family for generations. We are in no way perfect people, but we are happy and have positive memories of childhood – We love our parents and the relationships we have built with others.
Well, I guess I should have known that this post would bring out the people looking to pick a fight. “non-regulars” if you will
but for me, I’d like to say, i’m glad anderson cooper is still crush worthy
and for the record, I saw the Today interview and I thought you did great.
Thanks Kristen! And I’m glad Anderson is still crush worthy, too!
I finally discussed with my daughter the post I made here right after the Time cover:
What a fabulous picture -my brilliant 28 year old daughter breast-fed until the night before her 4th birthday – she’d talked so much about turning 4 and was only really nursing at night and the occasional bump or fall that needed comfort but she started saying< " When 4 I'm big and no need night night milk' I didn't pay much attention but we had the birthday party and she never asked again – that's the way it is meant to be self weaning! My first-born weaned himself when I got pregnant with my daughter – just pulled away and made a face and said no more…..so unsure if hormones changed the taste or supply but he never asked again and was a great proponent of breastfeeding when his sister came home – Mom time to nurse her was heard over and over!
People who criticize extended breastfeeding simply haven't enjoyed the happiness of a secure child self weaning!
SHE asked why I didn't say what had gotten me so interested in breast feeding to begin with? I have told the story over and over that I read a book way back in the 70's that stated – cows were raised for muscle so cow's milk made good muscle; cats are agile and stealthy so cat's milk aids that development; goats are cranky and eat almost anything so goat's milk must help that development – HUMANS have superior brains so that is why my 2 kids were breastfed!
She studied neuro biology and can go on and on about neuronal growth and neuornal 'resilency' (how we grow back damaged/disconnected neurons) so is grateful but wanted me to more strongly say it is wonderful emotionally for families but physically developmentally it is the greatest gift of all!
Amen! I agree Paula- we judge what we do not understand. Love your comments!
Hi! Last month with all the TIME cover hype, I was really interested in the story and came across your blog through an article, I think on huffington post maybe? Any way, I just want to tell you that I think it is SO great that you have publicly taken a stand for breastfeeding. The fact that people are so upset over breastfeeding, of all things, completely baffles me. I breastfed my oldest until she was 9 months, and I unfortunately had to stop then. I am currently breastfeeding my 8 month old. My original plan was to breastfeed her until at least one year, possibly a few months over one. However, after seeing your interviews and learning more about attachment parenting, I am definitely going to breastfeed my daughter until she weans herself. I just want to thank you so much for helping make this difference for my daughter and me!! Oh – and I think you did an excellent job at all of the interviews and really represented it well
Andrea! Thank you so much for your comment. Hearing your story is just another confirmation that the right choice was made. We knew we didn’t have creative control and it was a risk, but we truly believed no matter what education would happen. Our hope was to raise awareness so mothers and fathers know there are multiple options to raising a healthy child and to pick the best one for their family. Hearing that is exactly what the cover did for you…well, it doesn’t get much better than that! Thank you so much for commenting. You made my day.
Thank you for what you are doing. Parentiing styles and breast feeding in particular are personal issues, so I think it is very brave of you to share them with the world. I don’t understand why people are so unsettled by extended breast feeding and other issues like co-sleeping. The fact that these practices are seen as somehow sexual says to me that we have lost touch with some of the basic joys of parenting and of being a young child. I breast fed my elder son until he was three and have a 13 month old who still breastfeeds and I will let him choose when he is ready to wean. The funny thing is, about a week after my elder son weaned, he had forgotten how to nurse- he tried out of curiosity, and just couldn’t.
anyway, I just wanted to say that I am one of many who applaud you.
Thank you so much for this comment! It is so great to have this support system of other parents willing to take a stand for a way or parenting that should definitely be accepted as a healthy choice. (It is the biological norm!)
Jamie Lynne,
I watched all of you interviews and I thought that you came across as the beautiful,smart,well mannered and funny woman that your Mom raised you to be. I especially love your clever response to those who feel that your intimacy with your husband must somehow be compromised due to the co-sleeping with your children -of course ya’ll are having great sex-how could you not be -unless he was blind! I nursed my daughter and son until they were six,needless to say I was the talk of our neighborhood playgroup at the time! You are so brave and you are blessed with a beautiful family. (:
Thanks Elizabeth! Your name sounds so familiar. Trying to figure out why.
LOL you are so funny! Thanks for the compliment!
When I re-read my post I could see why you might think that we go way back! No we don’t know each other but I guess that I feel like I do know you from reading your wonderful blog (I wonder if there is a clinical diagnosis for that syndrome yet?) . I guess that I wanted to give your Mom props because you turned out so well! In any case, you are doing a great job of spreading awareness of the whole attachment parenting thing and I have to say that I have never regretted a single minute that I spent attachment parenting my children as that it what we are meant to do.
Oh thank you! Hah, there probably is!!! I know that you mean, I have met a few people through blogging in person and I feel like we’ve been hanging out “in real life” for years. It must be called something.
And thanks Elizabeth, such thoughtful compliments. I appreciate it all more than you know!
totally glad that anderson cooper is still dreamy in real life! ;D
He was open minded and the talk show surprisingly covered AP well. I give him props. He remains a sex symbol!
Hi Jamie- thank you for sharing your life story and blessed journey. I breast fed all of my 4 kids until they were 2. Looking back with the knowledge I have now after reading your story, I wish I had nursed them longer, but 2 was what “society” deemed/deems acceptable, and I had that programmed into my psyche. Breastfeeding is one of the most amazing and wonderful experiences, and I am so glad that I did choose to breastfeed them. I have one little snippet of home video of me nursing my youngest, and when I see it it brings a rush of emotion to me.
I remember meeting you when you were just 16, and I am impressed with the inspiring woman you are and have become. God bless you and your family.
Hey Denica! Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you found my blog. Thank you so much.
I had no idea you breastfed that long! That is great. I hope you see you soon. We will be up in the Bay Area a lot this summer (the boys definitely will be there a good portion of the time).
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me.