Frequently Asked Questions I Can’t Really Answer, But I’ll Try.
I receive a lot of really wonderful and relevant questions that I realize I am going to have to start asking other mothers to give their input and wisdom, because I don’t think I have enough experience with any of these topics to give advice.
I’m going to address three of the most common questions I am asked so that I can explain why may not be much help to others…
It is no secret that I did not gestate one of my children. His birth story was a natural birth in Ethiopia.
Aram was born two months early via emergency cesarean. I developed Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome. Unfortunately, my presentation was very atypical (my kidneys never spilled protein, not even in my 24 hour urinalysis) and because of that, my care was extremely mismanaged. Ironically, I was under-treated by three OBs and incorrectly and over-treated by one midwife. I came to the conclusion that it does not matter what route you go with your healthcare professional (holistic or conventional) as long as the person treating you is educated and has respect for a natural low-risk birth, understands complications during pregnancy and during labor, and has compassion for the human beings in their care.
Samuel joined our family already potty trained.
With Aram, we decided not to start potty training until he was three. When he was 18 months old we bought a potty chair that stayed in our bathroom. I would casually mention he could go there, but he seemed to prefer his cloth diapers and had no interest in going anywhere else.
When he was two years old, without any warning or coaxing from us he started using the potty chair. That was that. Even through the night. In his two years of being potty trained, Aram has had two accidents. We’ve decided he has a bladder of steel. If I had to guess what made this such a stress free change for Aram, I would say the cloth diapers were beneficial (they allow you to feel when you’re wet), we never put stress on him to potty train before he was ready, and his bladder just happened to mature a little earlier than some kids…and maybe a little luck?
Transitioning from co-sleeping bed to their “own bed”
We always made sure the boys had their own beds. They could pick out their sheets, we would read them stories on their beds, and let them know whenever they wanted to try them out they were welcome to- but they always could come back into our room if they weren’t feeling it that night.
Samuel, after two weeks of being home, jumped at the chance of sleeping in his own bed. It was really exciting for him. Aram was disinterested until about three-and-a-half when he exclaimed one day he wanted to sleep in his own bed. We never made his own bed sound better or worse than our bed, just an option that we never wanted to be scary.
The first night he slept there, he slept all night. He and Samuel enjoy whispering in bed to each other before they fall asleep (we have listened to many very sweet conversations) and occasionally, but not all the time, Aram will find his way into our room in the early morning hours where he is always welcomed in, followed by Samuel a few hours later to wake us all up and cuddle.
So, there are my frequently asked questions for which I apologize I cannot be of more help.
If you know of websites you feel cover any of the above topics well- please link in the comment section, along with any of your own personal tips or advice!
I hope this blog serves the purpose of creating community and being able to share with multiple people what we feel works and doesn’t work for our own family. If we do that, we hope we will inspire people to feel the freedom to make the best choices for their own family, and if some of our choices may seem like they would fit in with your family, then by all means try them out!
Being an adoptive transracial family, we always knew we were going to face hardships other families would never have to
Brian and I went with the kids to see Disneynature’s Chimpanzee on opening day. It’s really no surprise that we loved it.