Our first book club book discussion is underway!

If you haven’t already, head over to the forum and join the conversation.

We are on to our second book!

We have chosen Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter by Adeline Yen Mah

Born in 1937 in a port city a thousand miles north of Shanghai, Adeline Yen Mah was the youngest child of an affluent Chinese family who enjoyed rare privileges during a time of political and cultural upheaval. But wealth and position could not shield Adeline from a childhood of appalling emotional abuse at the hands of a cruel and manipulative Eurasian stepmother. Determined to survive through her enduring faith in family unity, Adeline struggled for independence as she moved from Hong Kong to England and eventually to the United States to become a physician and writer.

A compelling, painful, and ultimately triumphant story of a girl’s journey into adulthood, Adeline’s story is a testament to the most basic of human needs: acceptance, love, and understanding. With a powerful voice that speaks of the harsh realities of growing up female in a family and society that kept girls in emotional chains, Falling Leaves is a work of heartfelt intimacy and a rare authentic portrait of twentieth-century China.

If this sounds interesting to you, pick up the book and join the discussion June 15!

The post Book Club: Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah appeared first on I Am Not the Babysitter.

Have you heard about The Geography of Hate project created by Humboldt State University undergraduate students?

They sifted through a year of geocoded conversations from twitter to find hate words used in a negative context (which is important to note, since many people now use these words in a positive or neutral manner). The words were then applied to a color gradient map.

The map shows certain areas I was surprised to find concentrated with hate speech. (Especially in the San Francisco area.)

On a positive note: it looks like Utah really does have nice people living there…or maybe they are like me and aren’t big tweeters? Either way, they seem to have the lowest amount of “hate word” tweets.

What do you think about this? Were you already aware of social media being used as a outlet for hate speech, or is this map shocking to you?

The post Mapping the Hate appeared first on I Am Not the Babysitter.

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen 4:9)

The post Our Brother’s Keeper appeared first on I Am Not the Babysitter.

Most people know that the Platypus is an egg-laying mammal and a member of the order Monotremata.

Interesting fact about these creatures is that they do not have teats/nipples. The platypus nurses its young from its mammary patches that secrete milk.

The post A Platypus Nurses Without Nipples appeared first on I Am Not the Babysitter.

Yesterday was an interesting day.

I called and called around looking for push-up pop molds. Finally, a Sur La Table employee flippantly responded that they indeed carried the product.

After a 30 minute drive to the store, paid parking, and two little boys ready for breakfast in tow, we arrived. The man I approached at Sur La Table was extremely apologetic, but explained they did not carry the stupid push-pop molds. (I would like the know if the other employee I spoke to on the phone would like to pay for my gas and $10 parking for that pointless excursion?)

We went back to the parking garage, where I told Samuel not to jump on the stairs because there was urine all over the stairwell area from whatever human being had decided that was going to be his or her toilet for the day. Upon my suggestion, Samuel made one last grand jump and fell directly in urine.

This set the tone for the day.

Flash forward to the afternoon and we took both boys to their mixed martial arts class. The class is currently undergoing some major changes, including a change in instructors, so, as this transition happens, it is a bit more like Lord of the Flies than a disciplined class, especially afterward when the kids decide to all pounce on each other and the assistant/volunteer child-coaches. It is a good way for the kids to gain a trust and relationship with the new coaches, but it can get out of hand.

One of the children got hurt in the chaos and went to his dad for comfort. I heard him trying to soothe his son by saying the child who did this to him was “bad”. “That is a bad kid.” “Everyone is rough-housing and some kids are taking advantage of the situation.” (These are 2-5 year olds.) I can’t remember exactly the other words he used, but I think he may have described the child as a punk, and he just went overboard to tell his child how “bad” the other kid was. Then, he pointed at the kid. I was uncomfortable sitting next to the man while he berated another child to his own child, but then I looked over and saw he was pointing at Aram.

Then, it became my business.

“Excuse me that’s MY son.” I felt that awful hot feeling of anger swell up inside of me. The man looked a bit surprised. “No, no that’s not your son. I know who your son is, he is a good kid.” (As opposed to the other kid who was “bad”.) I still thought he was confused and was speaking about one of the boys, but soon realized that he was referring to another child in the tornado of bodies wreaking havoc on the mat. Then, I was hit with mixed emotions. The man, who actually seemed like a nice guy in a normal setting, was trying to extend an olive branch by telling me my kid was “good”. I was mistaken, so I felt a bit of embarrassment (kind of like the time our pastor stopped Christmas Eve service to chastise the person loudly laughing in the front row during an inappropriate and serious time in the sermon…only to find out the person in the front row was developmentally disabled….), but I also realized that my anger wasn’t going away. Not only could he have very well been talking about the majority of children out there, but that child has a family and is a valued human being.

I got mad all over again at the lack of respect for a child. So, since I was already in it I kept going.

“You know, they are just rough-housing out there; all of the kids are doing it. That kid isn’t worse than anyone else.” Then he offered me this piece of advice, “You need to stay out of it.”

Fair enough, it isn’t my business to parent his child, but if someone is speaking about “bad” children loud enough for the parents of any of the children in the surrounding area to hear, there is a good chance you may get an earful. It didn’t stop with me, the woman sitting next to me didn’t like the way he responded so she called him a male chauvinist. He responded by saying she was uneducated and left. (The woman he was referring to has a doctorate.)

I understand the man wanted to soothe his child, and validating his son’s feelings of being hurt is great, but doing that at the expense of another child and others’ feelings doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to go about it. So, I am a bit torn about continuing on after I found out I didn’t actually have a personal connection to this conversation with his son. Nevertheless, feelings of others were still on the line, so I’m not totally regretful that I said something in the defense of the other child. What do you think? How should we explain undesired behavior of other children to our children? Also, when is it (or is it ever) our place to speak out against parents who are being unkind to others?

The post Confrontation at MMA Class: A “Bad Kid”? appeared first on I Am Not the Babysitter.