Completing a family – the adoption story

August 30, 2012 | 4 Comments

Who doesn’t love a good birth or adoption story? This one is the Grumet family’s, in links that were compiled here by Kendall.

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This post (January 28, 2010), written in the midst of other posts regarding social worker visits (“Please God, let my house be clean!”), endless notarizing, and multiple sets of fingerprints, details the reasons for choosing to adopt from Ethiopia specifically. Samuel had turned 3 a little over a month before this post was written.

This post (February 20, 2010) celebrated the passing of the homestudy portion and details the steps of adoption process.

Setback after setback marked March with this post, written March 29, 2010, and this post which details a seizure Aram experienced.

Finally a referral (June 21, 2010)! and an adoption court date (July 9, 2010)!

But then, excruitiating delays. Finally, Brian traveled to Ethiopia and made the adoption official. But, there were delays again in picking him up.

Finally, Samuel was welcomed home.

 

Here’s why Samuel is the perfect name for him.

and here’s a video that might make you cry.

 

Filed Under: adoption, Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

Comments

  1. Kristin says:
    May 7, 2013 at 3:17 pm

    I don’t know if it’s me or not, but most of the links give me an error. Thought if it’s not me you might want to know so you can fix it :)

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Adoption Is Trendy? | I Am Not The Babysitter says:
    November 19, 2012 at 8:37 pm

    [...] is very unsettling to know the process of adoption is not discerning enough to catch this kind of potential adoptive parent.  What we can do is help [...]

    Reply
  2. What not to Say to Adoptive Parents | I Am Not The Babysitter says:
    May 5, 2013 at 11:59 am

    [...]  1. “Do you have/want any of your own children?” This is generally a question asked when people want to know if the family is also made up of biological children, in addition to the adoptive child(ren). Why it is offensive- Biological and adoptive children are both equally the parents’ “own.” Also, a lot of parents find the question irrelevant. What difference does it make if the mother gestated some of her children and not others? What you should say- Obviously, replace “own” with “biological,”  but take caution with this question, in general. I would only ask this if you are close with the adoptive parents, and are both equally as comfortable and open sharing personal information. The benefit of this information should be to learn about each other’s histories, as all friends do- not for the sake of curiosity. 2. “Where is his real mother/father?” A question asked about the biological family to find out why the child was placed for adoption. Why it is offensive – To begin with, the use of “real mother/father” is implying that the adoptive parents are lesser than the biological family (if they are real, does that make us the fake parents?) Additionally, that is a very personal question. I am sure there is concern in some circumstances, but for the most part this question comes across as self-gratifying curiosity bordering on gossip. What to ask- Don’t ask this question. Only if you are close (and I mean close) friends or family would it ever be appropriate. If you are close with the family and want to ask this question, make sure “real” is replaced with “biological.”  However, you may still not get an answer. The family may have decided that information will not be given out, unless the child wants to share the story himself.  And that should be respected. 3.  “She is so lucky” This is less of a question, and more of an attempted positive statement to the adoptive family. Some people do not know how to bring up their interest or positive feelings about adoption, and this is their way of bringing it up in conversation- Ironically, in an attempt to not offend people. Why it is offensive-  It gives the impression that the country or the family the child was born into is inferior in contrast to the country or family they are now a part of. Many adoptive parents feel they are the lucky ones, not their children- who have endured loss and trauma at a very young age. Another thing, adoptive parents in some cases are treated like saints for adopting. Adoptive parents want to add a new family member to their existing family, period. No saving is involved in their thought process. They do not want to be considered better than biological parents, they want to be looked at as a normal family. What to say instead-   Stick with comments that would work with both biological and adoptive families (and only if you really mean it): “You are a wonderful parent,” “Your children are blessed to have you.” “You are blessed.” “Your family is beautiful.”  Or, if you are trying to segue a conversation into adoption, you could just be frank and say something like, “I am interested in learning more about adoption. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions sometime?” Most people in the adoptive community are very open to explaining their trials and triumphs in the adoption process. [...]

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