I’d like everyone to meet Jenny! She is a rock star in the breastfeeding world!
1. Tell us about your personal breastfeeding experience with your children:
My daughter joined our family via adoption when she was 10 months old. I had followed the Newman-Goldfarb Protocols for Induced Lactation (www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/induced_lactation/gn_protocols.shtml) for the previous 12 months so that I’d be able to breastfeed her. I amazed both my husband and myself when I was able to bring in a significant milk supply by the time we traveled to Ethiopia to pick her up. I knew at 10 months old, there was a chance she would not accept nursing at the breast. In fact, she didn’t. My daughter had been bottle fed since birth and quite possibly had never seen a breast in her life. She regarded mine as if they were alien beings and wanted nothing to do with them. But boy did she love her momma’s milk from a bottle! So for many many months I pumped around the clock and fed her my milk from a bottle, then later in a sippy cup. To make a long story short, just after she turned two years old, and just when I’d about had it with pumping and was considering stopping, my daughter decided to latch to the breast. It took about 3 weeks for us to learn to nurse comfortably and regularly. Now we are nursing pros. Even though my daughter had already been home with us for over a year when she started nursing, it has still been a wonderful part of our bonding and attachment to each other. There is a mutual vulnerability and respect when she nurses. And there’s a one-of-a-kind connection that we both recognize. It’s beautiful.
2. What is your view of breastfeeding in public, and why?
(A quick word about breastfeeding in Italy, which is where I live. People here couldn’t care less where I feed my daughter. I love it! If they see us they look, notice, smile, acknowledge and move on. It’s just considered a natural beautiful thing and not indecent in the least. Living here, it’s become very clear to me how hung up the American society is about breastfeeding in public.)
Breastfeeding in public: As a lactation consultant I have always encouraged moms in this area. I had to put my own courage to the test when my two year old finally started nursing. I chose my “first time” carefully. We went to a park on the military base where I work. Ha! Lucky for me it was deserted. We sat down on a bench in the middle of the playground and I nursed my toddler. We saw only one person the entire time my daughter nursed. I don’t think the person was even close enough to realize what we were doing. Still, it was a bit nerve-wracking and I spent the time furtively looking around, checking for observers. Since then we have nursed at the pool, the park, the food court, restaurants, shopping centers and my office at work. My view is, my daughter deserves this milk, it’s not at all about me and my comfort level. That attitute got me over any public shyness very quickly. When nursing around Americans I do try a little harder to be discreet than when I nurse around Italians or other Europeans. And if I do feel a bit uncomfortable, I just look at my daughter and ignore what’s going on around me. But you know, one thing I’ve noticed is I have NOT gotten any odd looks or comments from anyone, even on base. I know Europe is breastfeeding friendly in general, but who would have imagined a military base could be? How cool.
3. What is your view of sustained breastfeeding, and why?
There is a great fact sheet on Extended Breastfeeding at Kelly Mom (http://www.kellymom.com/store/freehandouts/extended_bf_factsheet.pdf). It lists several benefits of sustained breastfeeding to both mother and child. The most impressive benefits in my opinion are the nutritional and immunoprotective. Did you know that a nursing toddler can get about 1/3 of her daily calories from breast milk? Isn’t it interesting that non-nursing toddlers get sick more often and their illnesses last longer than nursing toddlers? I also really like the practice of allowing the child to decide when to wean. So much of nursing my daughter is about her comfort and security. As her mother it comes naturally to provide her as much of that as she needs. So you can guess by now that I am in favor of sustained breastfeeding. Actually, I should say I am in favor of child-led weaning, at whatever age the child is when s/he decides to end nursing. No age limit.
4. What is your view of adoptive breastfeeding, and why?
Adoptive breastfeeding amazes me. Physiologically I think it is literally incredible that a woman who has never even been pregnant is able to bring in a full milk supply in order to nurse an adopted infant or child. It’s also evidence of the immense well of love, adoration, determination, empathy, and respect that a mother has in regard to her children. It comes from the deepest mothering instinct a woman can have – to protect and nourish a vulnerable young one. You know how touching those photos are of a mother dog who adopts and nurses an orphaned kitten? Or the story of the 130 year old giant tortoise in Kenya that adopted the baby hippo in the aftermath of the 2004 tsunami (www.owenandmzee.com)? Those stories are so moving because they underscore one of our greatest fears, being alone with noone to love and care for us, and illustrate the mutual joy of adoption. While adoptive breastfeeding is a phenomenon most Americans are surprised to learn of, many many adoptive mothers have discovered the healing and bonding powers of their breastfeeding relationships with their children. 5.Is there anything you find unique about your breastfeeding story with your children?
Each mother and child’s breastfeeding story is personal and unique. 
6. Is there anything you wish you did differently?
Nope! My daughter learned to nurse on her own time, when she was ready, and she’ll continue to nurse as long as she wants to. This experience has been incredible for our whole family, even my husband and teenaged stepson. My stepson is learning what breasts are really for, that it’s natural and normal to nurse your baby/child. What a healthy thing for a teenaged boy to learn! Breastfeeding is so special to my daughter that she often wants to share her milk with her other parent, her dad. She’ll point to my other breast while nursing, wanting her dad to nurse too (no,we don’t do that, but we think it’s so sweet of her to offer!). Or, she’ll want her dad or brother to sit right next to her while she nurses so she can put her arm around his neck or play with his hair. There are so many awesome things about my daughter breastfeeding. At the very least this has been a wonderful bonding experience for all of us, we wouldn’t change a thing!
7. Is there anything you would like to add?
I am a wife, mom, nurse and internationally certified lacation consultant. I live and work at a US military base in Italy. My daughter is featured on my public blog at www.mygirlscurls.blogspot.com.
I’d love to do this, but I don’t want to take the hormones to try and make it happen. Having never been pregnant, I’ve been told it would be tough. But I plan on doing lots of body contact to foster the bonding!
I don’t blame you for not wanting to take anything to start milk production. It creeps me out. I can’t imagine it being good for your body. I know there are herbs that can start it up, too…but I’ve heard if you haven’t produced before it is a long shot (plus even herbs can had weird side effects)…
I am part of an adoptive parent breastfeeding yahoo group. It is tough even with the prescribed medication according to those women. Most don’t make very much if they make anything at all.
I know one mother on there was able to get her baby to latch on and even though she didn’t produce milk it was a way to bond! That seemed cool to me. Like a human pacifier!
I think Erimentha is dead wrong. I am the adoptive mom a son I adopted from birth. I am a single parent and have never lactated before. I was opposed to taking any supplements, etc. to encourage me to lactate, so my son was formula fed. However, if I were naturally lactating for a child I was currently nursing at the time I adopted my son, I would have certainly breastfed my adopted son. Without a doubt!!!
I think it’s fantastic that you are nursing your son. Normally, I might find it a bit strange to still be nursing him at age four. But under the circumstances, I think can see it’s usefulness in helping him and your biological son understand his place in your family.
Thanks!
I actually was warned in advance by a pro-adoptive breastfeeding advocate about this. She told me that there are actual groups/communities of people that say they are adoptees that scour the internet looking for a fight with adoptive parents (with this being my first negative comment and I got four more from adoptees in the same hour I am guessing that is right)….
Take it with a grain of salt and don’t get too upset about it. We don’t know the background of a lot of the negative comments coming from people claiming to be adoptees, and it is hard to get upset and defensive if people possibly have dealt with a lot of trauma, abuse, and neglect.
We know what is best for our kids, so it seems so silly to have someone tell you how offensive it is.
I understand that there is a community of people out there that believe this, but I completely disagree with it and I will always be an advocate of breastfeeding. I will not allow any negative comments , because I have come to realize the only reason for them is to start an argument and I hate that.
I am an adoptee and I think it would have been wonderful if my adoptive mother had breastfed me. I also gave a child up for adoption and would have been more than happy to hear that his adoptive mother was going to try to breastfeed him. When my 2nd son was born I breastfed him until he self-weaned at 2.5 years of age.
I think its wonderful!
Dyan what a great comment explaining your background! It is so great to hear the view of someone so connected to adoption (but not an adoptive parent) – Great perspective!
Wow what a beautiful and moving story! I think it is the most special bond you can share with your children and I agree with you about the helping with the bonding part.
You are blessed and so are your children!
Wow, how great for Samuel. I can imagine how being able to nurse has helped him trust you, feel loved, be nurtured and understand that he is your son and Aram’s brother. I can imagine because I breastfeed my adopted daughter (also Ethiopian) who just decided to latch to the breast for the first time in her life at 2yo. I also think it’s great that you have photos of your boys tandem nursing. Viewing these photos from time to time as they grow older will surely strengthen their bond as brothers. Both fed from the same breast. Awesome.
You totally rock for posting this stuff on your blog. It may seem weird or at least unusual to a lot of people. But the more exposure to adoptive breastfeeding and breastfeeding in general, the more and more familiar and accepted the idea becomes. Thanks for representing all of us breastfeeding moms!
This is so lovely! It will be interesting as they grow up to see if your adopted son is not as affected by adoption as many others evidently are (Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier or the new Joan Didion book) because he has such a bond with you. What a marvelous mom you are
I think it’s awesome that you were able to do this! What a fantastic way to facilitate bonding!
You are a marvelous woman and mom.keep it up we love you
It’s really great to see women, finally, at the forefront of social change. That this change is a headlong rush into oblivion doesn’t matter – what counts is to be ahead of the curve.
Poor western women! What a sad, sorry joke they’ve become!
I failed miserably with adoptive breastfeeding, between all the meds I was taking to induce lactation, etc. (12 pills/day at various intervals) If I was already lactating, I would’ve absolutely breastfed my adopted children.
I think you still are a rockstar mother- breastfeeding or not.
I love this! I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I wanted to nurse my son for at least a year but unfortunately didn’t make enough milk for him and by 3 months he rejected the boob because he wasn’t getting enough. I was so upset over it. I tried everything from natural remedies to Reglan to help supply and nothing worked. I am hoping with the next baby things will be different. I admire you for being so open. I wish breastfeeding was normalized more in America.
Oh! I cried reading this!! And such a beautiful pic.
This is so beautiful! What a great gift you are giving Samual. This also helped open up a conversation about adoptive breastfeeding with my husband. Keep up the great work – your a “hall of fame” mother.
This is a really unique story, thank you for sharing it.