Read part 1 here.
The 411 about Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS) and Attachment in parents:
1. PADs is educating doctors on the subject of Post-Partum Depression (PPD)-
Doctors often attribute post-partum blues to dramatic hormonal changes that occur after the birth of a baby. However, psychologists often link new mother’s depression to the sudden overwhelming demands of an infant and new financial responsibility, as well her loss of professional identity, social networks, and personal freedom. Sometimes depression is simply about not getting enough sleep or time to oneself. -SOURCE
Now that people are speaking up about their PADS doctors are realizing that hormonal changes may not be the catalyst for PPD.
2. Your attachment may not be immediate, and there is no set timeframe that you will attachment.
It can take weeks to years. I’ve even heard that one family said it took seven years for the parents to have identical feelings for their adopted children as their biological.
3. There is nothing wrong with you!
I’ve talked to many people who felt this way and thought maybe they made a mistake and they weren’t cut out for adoption. No! This is a normal part of the adoption process, and it will pass.
4. Adopting is DIFFERENT than having a biological child.
People don’t like talking about this, either. I think because adoptive parents have fought so hard to prove to other people that their adopted children are just as much theirs as biological children. That is so true, but….another truth is that is it is also different.
Biological children come as infants that have gestated for (hopefully) 40 weeks getting familiar with their biological mother’s heartbeat, voice, and they will be familiar with her smell when they are born. There is almost always an instant attachment for both parties when the child is born. Adoptive parents don’t have that time to spend bonding before “meeting”….
Also, there is only one person being added to the family with a bio birth. However, in adoption children can come from any place, at any age, and whether you like this or not (and in my opinion it is one of the most beautiful aspects of adoption) your going to be forever connected with an entire new family, not just the child.
There are so many different variables in adoption, I can’t imagine why attachment would be the same as it would for a biological child. It is also unique for each parent and child.
5. 65% of all adoptive parents suffer from PADS.
That isn’t including minor bonding and attachment issues.