Recipe: Armenian Luleh Kebabs

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One of my favorite dishes!   Ingredients: 3lbs ground lamb 1/4 cup parsley, chopped fine 1/4 cup onion, chopped 1/2 cup bread crumbs 1 tablespoon tomato paste 1/4 can evaporated milk 1 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon pepper 2 teaspoons coriander 1/2 teaspoon all spice Dash cayenne pepper Topping: Tomato Sauce Preheat Oven to 375 degrees Mix all ingredients (except topping) together well but DO NOT OVER MIX (this is important). Form into about 2 … [Read more...]

Book Club: A Game of Thrones (Book One)

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Our last two book club books were interesting reads, but I can't handle reading another overly depressing book for the time being. It is summer and I think we deserve a fun summer read. We've chosen A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 1) by George R.R. Martin:   Book Description: Long ago, in a time forgotten, a preternatural event threw the seasons out of balance. In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime, trouble is brewing. The cold is … [Read more...]

Being Brave For Our Children

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What has been the bravest thing you have done for your children?   … [Read more...]

“My Two Moms Story” by Kiara Lie

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This guest post was written by Kiara Lie.  My moms’ story begins with my father’s departure. He left the family when I was just a teenager. She had married him at nineteen years-old, and after eighteen years of marriage ending, my mom was ruined. Now in her late thirties, she was single with three kids to provide for. That’s when she met my other mother.  At first they denied their relationship. They always feared what others—especially family—would say. But even though … [Read more...]

“Eat It Haters” #Cheerios

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Remember the Cheerios commercial featuring an interracial family that caused an internet uproar? Here is a clever parody done as a response: … [Read more...]

Happy Father’s Day Brian! 2013

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"He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." — Clarence Budington Kelland Happy Father's Day, Bri! … [Read more...]

Moving Update

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Brian and I were on a major apartment/house hunt with the boys.  After all of that, we realized we really aren’t ready to move out of our apartment just yet. It’s hard to move when you actually like where you live. Our building has yielded very few complaints from us over the past two years. The only issue was that we really wanted to get the boys a real pet. Our mystery pet shrimp are fun, but not necessarily the best companions. We were ready to get a cat for them until I … [Read more...]

How to Be an Activist Without Being Abrasive

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During a call with my sister today, somehow the topic of Gloria Steinem came up. Sister: You know mom called up KGO when Gloria Steinem was on, right? Me: Really? What was the topic? Sister: Well, I don’t totally know. Mom said she was listening and Gloria Steinem made a comment referring to how Stay-at-Home mothers are useless or not productive members of society, so she called in. Me: What did mom say to her? Sister: She got scared and hung up before her call went … [Read more...]

Wildflowers

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You belong among the wildflowers, You belong somewhere close to me. Far away from your trouble and worries You belong somewhere you feel free. - Tom Petty … [Read more...]

A Weaning Story

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Last fall, I noticed Aram hadn’t nursed in what seemed like months. (I hadn’t really noticed up until that point)... I wondered if he had also noticed, so I brought it up. Me: Hey Aram, you haven’t nursed mommy in long time. Aram: Yeah, I’m done. Me:  What made you decide to stop? Aram: Because I’m done. Me: Well, that is a great reason. Aram: I know. And that was that. Although the weaning process was not very profound for either of us, our breastfeeding … [Read more...]

13 Years Ago Today My Brother was Killed in a Blue Suicide

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It was 13 years ago today that my brother was killed. The anniversary of a loved one’s death is something I think each person deals with differently. It was strange to think that next year will mark the exact same amount of years I have been alive with my brother on this earth as I have without him. I am really uncomfortable with that thought. I don’t think I ever wrote about what happened, from my point of view, the night he died. My parents and I had driven down to Carmel for the … [Read more...]

Real Men of Attachment Parenting- Brian Grumet

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Brian asked me the other day why he wasn't featured in our "Real Men of AP" series. I guess I thought I wrote about him enough that he didn't need to be a part of this, but of course he does! Plus, it is important to him. So, without further ado, I give you this week's Real Men of AP feature: Brian Grumet. Brian has been the epitome of a present, hands-on dad since the day Aram was born. Aram was born via emergency c-section two months before his due date. I was in one wing of the … [Read more...]

Children’s Books: Little Men by Louisa May Alcott

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Do you remember the book Little Women by Louisa May Alcott? For so many of us, that reminds us of our childhoods. I was in Ojai, California recently and, during my shopping trip, I came across some great vintage books for the boys room. A book titled Little Men caught my attention, and I was delighted to see the author was also Louisa May Alcott. Little Men is a sequel to little women, reprising many of the characters we grew to love in the first book. The story follows the students at … [Read more...]

Why We Allow Toy Guns in Our House

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Strobridge Elementary school in Hayward, California is holding a “safety day” where they will have firefighters discuss fire safety and police officers discuss bicycle and gun safety. The unique part of this day is the toy gun exchange. If you give up your toy gun (squirt gun, Nerf gun, Star Wars blaster- you name it) you will receive a book and be entered in a raffle to win a bicycle. Charles Hill, the principle of Strobridge Elementary explains why he believes the toy gun exchange … [Read more...]

Virgin Strawberry Basil Mojitos

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Bright colors, fresh ingredients, fun presentation. Who wouldn't be drawn to the sight of a colorful drink in a fun glass? Cocktails aren't just for grown-ups! Here is an easy and fun recipe for virgin strawberry basil mojitos: Ingredients (makes 2 mojitos): 6 strawberries, chopped 2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil 1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint sparkling water (We use 365 brand with a hint of lime, but plain or any flavor would also work.) ice 1-2 teaspoons honey … [Read more...]

Why Do We Jokingly Use the Word “nazi”?

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It has been very important for our family to teach the boys about the repercussions of intolerance starting at a young age. (Always keeping in mind what would be age appropriate and the sensitivity of each child, of course.) The boys are learning 20th century world history and were introduced to World War I and II, which led to us to having a conversation about the Holocaust. Prior to having this discussion, I did some extensive research about this horrific event in history, that we know … [Read more...]

Panko Green Bean Fries

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Ingredients ½ lb green beans, trimmed 1 cup flour 1 egg ⅓ cup skim milk 3-4 cloves garlic pressed in a garlic press 1 and ½ cups panko bread crumbs ½ cup finely grated pecorino or parmesan cheese 2 teaspoons paprika Kosher salt, to taste pepper, to taste 2 tablespoons melted butter Instructions Preheat oven to 425 F. Fill a large pan with 2-3 inches of water and bring to a boil. Prepare a large bowl of ice water and set aside. Blanch the beans for 3 minutes … [Read more...]

Boundless Expanse

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“Doesn't it seem to you," asked Madame Bovary, "that the mind moves more freely in the presence of that boundless expanse, that the sight of it elevates the soul and gives rise to thoughts of the infinite and the ideal?”                                  ― Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary … [Read more...]

On Being Transgender and Breastfeeding

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As I type this, my 25-month-old is napping on my chest. I can feel his warm breath on my shoulder. I know, I know – he's over two years old (!), but I still really enjoy holding him during naps. It's my dirty little secret. I'm Canadian, I'm gay, I'm transgender, I'm an animal-lover, but two years ago, I became my boy's Dadda, and that trumps everything. Every cell in my body identifies as Dadda. I was assigned the gender of female at birth, but transitioned to male about five years ago … [Read more...]

A Fight Against Severe Injuries During Labor | Hamlin Fistula Clinic

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After some setbacks, Bryan and I finally met up with our group in Ethiopia. We met with the head of the Hamlin Fistula Hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. If you haven’t heard about the fistula clinic, let me give you a quick overview: This from Hamlinfistula.org: “What is a Fistula? The most devastating of all childbirth injuries, an obstetric fistula develops when the blood supply to the tissues of the vagina and bladder (and/or rectum) is cut off during prolonged, obstructed … [Read more...]

Symbolism: Morehouse Students Graduate in the Rain

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Morehouse College is the alma mater of Rev. Dr.  Martin Luther King Jr., and this past Sunday President Obama addressed the graduating class of 2013. There has been some discussion over why measures weren't taken to protect the students from the heavy rains during the ceremony. This quote from Facebook presents a very interesting perspective as to why every part of that day was deeply meaningful to our country and the continued progress of human rights: This picture of Morehouse … [Read more...]

Fruit Leather Sweetened with Honey Recipe

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This is our favorite (and very easy) recipe for fruit leather. Ingredients 4 cups sliced strawberries (about 2 baskets) 1 peeled and chopped apple ½ cup water The juice of one orange The juice of one lemon ⅛-1/4 cup honey 2 teaspoons cinnamon (optional)   Instructions   Preheat your oven to 140 degrees (or as low as it will go). In a saucepan, add the strawberries, apple, and water on medium-low heat until it reaches a simmer. Cover and reduce heat to low. Let … [Read more...]

NY Bare Breasts Controversy: What is the Difference Between Female and Male Mammary Glands?

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A news story reporting that the NYPD re-mentioned to their officers that women could legally go topless in public has gone viral. Everyone has an opinion! There are many countries around the world where both men and women will be out in public topless, but since the US has traditionally only accepted males to go topless, this has caused quite a stir. This post is less of a debate on topless laws, and more of an examination of this specific area of male and female anatomy. So, what is … [Read more...]

Billionaires Donate Their Earnings: “High Leverage” Charity Work

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Yesterday, we asked, on our Facebook wall, how much money you would donate to charity if you were to win the Powerball (As of yesterday it was at 600 million USD). Our group, overall, was extremely generous, but the percentages had a pretty wide range. Tonight, I happened to catch this article from the Wall Street Journal website that told the story of the changing idea of philanthropy. John Arnold was a natural-gas trader at Enron who founded his own hedge-fund with monumental … [Read more...]

Breastfeeding Culture: Mursi Tribe

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The Mursi tribe of Ethiopia's Omo Valley is one of the oldest and most easily identifiable tribal cultures of Africa. Most Mursi children nurse past toddler-hood, and clothing for women commonly leaves breasts exposed. The breast area for the Mursi tribe is viewed as nourishment for children and signals to men peak nubility of the woman, based on shape and texture. The Mursi people are at risk for displacement. From Mursi Online: Since the 1960s, the extension of government control over … [Read more...]

Book Club: Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah

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Our first book club book discussion is underway! If you haven't already, head over to the forum and join the conversation. We are on to our second book! We have chosen Falling Leaves: The Memoir of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter by Adeline Yen Mah Born in 1937 in a port city a thousand miles north of Shanghai, Adeline Yen Mah was the youngest child of an affluent Chinese family who enjoyed rare privileges during a time of political and cultural upheaval. But wealth and position could not … [Read more...]

Mapping the Hate

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Have you heard about The Geography of Hate project created by Humboldt State University undergraduate students? They sifted through a year of geocoded conversations from twitter to find hate words used in a negative context (which is important to note, since many people now use these words in a positive or neutral manner). The words were then applied to a color gradient map. The map shows certain areas I was surprised to find concentrated with hate speech. (Especially in the San Francisco … [Read more...]

Our Brother’s Keeper

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"Am I my brother's keeper?" (Gen 4:9)           … [Read more...]

Breastfeeding Billboard Jokes About Pedophilia

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A billboard featuring a woman breastfeeding her infant (with the breast area blurred out) and the caption (coming from the infant) “Jealous?” is making news because a website geared toward matching younger men with older women is using this as their advertisement. Regardless of the true intentions of a company that put this thought out into the world, it does bring up some obvious issues. Advertising is like a time capsule revealing some of our more shameful ideas of the past.  … [Read more...]

Terran McCabe: The Air Force Breastfeeding Mom Finally Speaks Out

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by Terran McCabe Whoever said a picture can speak a thousand words was right, even when I could speak none. A group of breastfeeding women, including myself, all took part in a photo shoot with the intentions of  letting others know breastfeeding is possible regardless of your situation. My main contribution, or so I thought, was that I happened to have twins. Boy was I wrong. Another woman and I, who both served in the Air National Guard, also took pictures in our uniform to show that even … [Read more...]

Advocacy: How to Handle Unexpected Media Attention

Best way to deal with unexpected media attention? A stiff drink.

What is the best way to handle unexpected media attention? RUN! Just kidding. If you are an advocate, you may think receiving media attention will never happen to you, but never say never. Whether it be one article in mainstream news, or a media firestorm, be prepared. Here is what I’ve learned from my own experience... The less you say the better. I was speaking to a friend who has been in the media now for decades and she laughed when I was telling her all my interview horror … [Read more...]

Clean Water For the First Time

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I wanted to share this letter written by Sister Donna to Waves for Water. This trip taken by Jack Rose of Waves for Water would not have been possible without your donations. Read this and know you made it happen. December 17,2012 Dear Waves for Water, What a blessed thing happened when Jack Rose came in a world-wind trip to Ethiopia and Heartland. No idle tourist is he, not a beat or step in any direction except one, the bringing of, teaching about, workshop for, and installation of … [Read more...]

We’re Done Having Kids

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When Brian had his vasectomy, we had so many people feel obligated to chime in about how much we would regret it. Some of their reasoning was a bit too morbid to even be amusing: You’re so young! I’m old enough to know I’d like to reach my golden years.   What if something happens to your family/child? I am not even going to entertain that possibility. You can’t replace human beings/family members/children. It doesn't work like that.   What if you … [Read more...]

Public Sign Holds Hidden Message Only Children Can See

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Did you hear about this Spanish organization for abused children that found a way to hide its message from adults while still reaching at-risk youth? Do you think the hidden message will be effective? … [Read more...]

What I Wish I Had Known Before Our International Adoption

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If I could have written a letter to myself before we started the international adoption process, here are some things I wish I would have known. Some I already knew, but after adopting (or going through the process) others became much clearer to me. Adoption and parenting in general are selfless. Keep in mind that you are not just adopting a family member, but there is a mutual merger of birth and adopted families, culture, and country. Research thoroughly. Melissa Fay Greene recommends The … [Read more...]

A Class Divided

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In 1968 a third-grade teacher named Jane Elliot was compelled to give her students a lesson in discrimination after the death of Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr. Watch the PBS 10-minute clip of A Class Divided: *Thank you to my good friend Erin for sharing this video with me last night. * … [Read more...]

How to Be a Better Judgmental Person

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  Here are five steps to take to determine whether you are negatively judging someone without warrant. 1. Identify who or what is being threatened. Negative judgment is generally fear-based. Understanding what is causing the fear/threat is the first step in understanding and working through healthy judgment. For instance, strangers who followed the Casey Anthony trial may have judged her because they felt she was acquitted of murder even though she actually committed the crime. This … [Read more...]

Adoption and the Real Mom

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“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day.When you’re 9 years old and a girl, I suppose being an emotional wreck is to be expected. Ah, heck. When you’re 37 years old and girl, I suppose being an emotional wreck is to be expected. But sometimes, it’s hard to know which 9-year-old wrecks are I Stubbed My Toe And That’s A Great Excuse To Let Go Of The Emotional Mess Smouldering Inside Me, and which wrecks are Real. Yeah, yeah.  I know they’re all real.  But the Real … [Read more...]

Gluten-Free Naturally Colored Aromatherapy Play Dough Recipe

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I don't know who has more fun with this play dough, the kids or me! Ingredients ¼ cup cornstarch ¼ cup brown rice flour ¼ cup salt 1 teaspoon cream of tartar 1 teaspoon vegetable oil ½ cup water ½ teaspoon essential oil ½- 1 teaspoon natural food coloring *(derived from vegetables and plants, and can be found at most Whole Foods and health food stores) ½- 1 teaspoon dried herbs or tea (optional) Instructions In a small saucepan add the rice flour, salt, cream … [Read more...]

Why We Should Embrace the “Extreme Parenting” title

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Probably before, but ever since Time Magazine’s “Mom Enough” cover came out, people have been labeling parenting practices that are similar to or in alignment with “attachment parenting” as extreme. Most of us laughed it off because there was a clear disconnect between what the families' lives were actually like in these "extreme parenting" scenarios and what society thought went on in their homes. It was (and still is) such a foreign concept to so many Americans, that the general … [Read more...]

Breastfeeding: nyangatom tribe

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The Nyangatom tribe resides in Ethiopia's Omo Valley. They are known for  for their heavy (beautiful) necklaces. Women wear the necklaces with long goatskin skirts. Breastfeeding is celebrated, and given the culture's attire, babies seem pretty happy about the easy access to their mother's milk. :-) … [Read more...]

Spiritual Warfare

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All the water in the world, however hard it tries, can never sink the smallest ship unless it gets inside, and all the evil in the world, the blackest kind of sin, can never hurt you in the least, unless you let it in. -Unknown … [Read more...]

Books for Children and Adults: Homosexuality

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books on homosexualityHappy Sunday! Here are some of my picks for children's and adult books educating and celebrating same-sex relationships.Children's Books covering the topic of LGBT families (but also some touch on the topic of interracial families and adoption). <3   Gay Christian Reading:  Strengthen or Evolve: Debate and Counterpoint Reading: books on homosexuality … [Read more...]

Light of Youth

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Guard your light and protect it. Move it forward into the world and be fully confident that if we connect light to light to light, and join the lights together of the one billion young people in our world today, we will be enough to set our whole planet aglow. - Hafsat Abiola … [Read more...]

Joy in Life

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“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.” ― Emily Dickinson … [Read more...]

Are we embalming ourselves with household products?

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I remember watching The Oprah Winfrey Show a couple of years ago, where they had a woman on who spoke about ‘clean’ living. I was shocked (and mildly grossed out) when she stated that funeral homes have been reporting less formaldehyde being used on corpses in the last decade or two, because our environment and the food the person ingested during their life had done the work for them. Well, as much as I support Oprah and living a less toxic lifestyle - this statement seems to be an urban … [Read more...]

Gender Specific Colors- Who Started The Pink and Blue Trend?

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Samuel’s hair color faded and so he asked for pink when we recolored it. We were shocked at how well the pink latched on. Seeing his vibrant pink hair made me wonder how certain colors became gender specific. Pink was not always a color assigned to little girls. However, the majority of children (regardless of sex) were dressed in white dresses until around the age of six. Early 1900s- Boys in Pink When color (mainly pastels) starting integrating into children’s fashion in the US, … [Read more...]

The War Against War and Terrorism

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The importance of our children's role against war and terrorism should be a conscious thought for all parents. As adults we are actively making a difference, but with our children we have invested so much more in a future of peace. … [Read more...]

Honey, Coconut Oil, and Butter Coffee Recipe

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A friend of ours introduced us to bullet-proof coffee the other day. If you haven’t heard of The Bulletproof Executive, it is a blog/website by Dave Asprey, who follows what seems to be a diet similar to the paleo diet. Anyway, he seems to have gone through quite a dramatic physical change and gives tips on how to live in “the state of high performance.” That’s where the coffee comes in. Asprey came up with this butter coffee recipe using grass-fed butter and unrefined oil (like raw … [Read more...]

Racist Barbie?

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 The Dolls of the World Collection has been around since 1980.  However, this week it has been receiving a lot of attention for playing up cultural stereotypes. They must have missed Amazonia Barbie in 2009: It seems Mattel's 2012 "Mexico Barbie Doll"  has been criticized for being offensive because the doll comes with a pink passport and Chihuahua: Critics are claiming that the passport is touching on immigration issues. However, every doll from their new design concept comes with a … [Read more...]

“Napalm Girl”: When Children Change the World (By Showing Up)

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Note: Kim Phuc has taken everything that life has given her with such grace and determination. She is married with two sons, and works on behalf of children of war through the United Nations and her non-profit, the Kim Foundation International.  Many remember the haunting image of nine-year-old Kim Phuc taken in Vietnam after an aerial napalm attack:   It has been forty years since the photo was taken that would forever change Kim's life. This photo was captured by Nick Ut, … [Read more...]

Are You Racist?

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Are you racist?   Most of us feel we can answer this question with certainty, but a online test may tell you otherwise.   Harvard University created a “race preference” test with their non-profit, Project Implicit.   The test uses black and white images of "African Americans" and "European Americans" along with words that are categorized as "good" or "bad".   It is a very quick test, so if you have ten minutes to spare go take it!   To … [Read more...]

Will I Be Pretty?

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Katie Makkai- Pretty I think this generation has their work cut out for them. We need to figure out how to appreciate aesthetics and physical beauty, while not having it define us. As Katie beautifully points out, when we start allowing our self-worth to be defined by our outward appearance (or teach that to our children, male or female) the positive aspects of beauty completely vanish. I believe the more we teach our children, and personally embrace the differences beauty in other … [Read more...]

Bringing Your Baby To Work

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Allowing infants to stay close to their mothers, by their side at work, is one of the key components to the happy and well-rounded staff at Henna Preschool in Huntington, South Africa. Peggy O'Mara has a popular quote that isn't technically about bringing your child to work, but I thought was very fitting of this circumstance: “Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times. Demonstrate that people … [Read more...]

Preeclampsia – My HELLP Syndrome Story

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300,000 women each year will be diagnosed with Preeclampsia or HELLP Syndrome. Knowing the signs and symptoms is the single most important thing you can do to increase you and your baby's chance of survival. Unfortunately, you can't always trust the medical community to make an early diagnosis. Preeclampsia, and especially HELLP, are finicky diseases in the beginning stages and often go undiagnosed until the situation becomes severe. Preeclampsia affects between 5-10% of all pregnancies. … [Read more...]

Meeting the Police Officer Who Ended My Brother’s Life

The police officer did not kill my brother.

This past year was one of the most poignant of my life, but not for the reasons you may think. 2012 brought me to the home of my son’s birth family and his first mother, the person who gave him life. 2012 also brought me to the man who ended my brother’s life, the police officer who shot him that horrible, horrible night. In the beginning of 2012, I felt moved for various reasons (in large part, because Brian had had some unsettling encounters at work) to write the police officers … [Read more...]

A Child’s Perspective on Same-Sex Relationships

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I posted the photo above yesterday on the blog Facebook page, and it was the first time I could visibly see the number of “likes” of the page drop within seconds. I’ll give the people who were offended some credit, because they went quietly without any “I’m leaving” announcement (I still don’t understand the point of that. Not every facebook page is going to be one you decide is right to follow. Just unlike the page, don’t make it a big production when you exit.) It has been on … [Read more...]

Confusion Over the Attachment Parenting Lifestyle

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  I read an article by a Forbes blogger right after the Time cover came out. The article ended up being linked by all the other Forbes bloggers in their pieces, but was ultimately removed by Forbes. I hope this was because the people in the corporate office understood how inflammatory and inaccurate the actual piece was. Normally, I’d take a stab at bloggers and generalize that most have a complete lack of respect for truthful journalism, but considering that the legitimate journalists … [Read more...]

Sarah Breedlove Walker – A Single Working Mom & Philanthropist

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"An illiterate, impoverished daughter of freed slaves built the largest black-owned business in America, made a fortune, and touched thousands with her philanthropy." - PBS's "Who Made America". One of my role models is Sarah Breedlove Walker, and the border between black history month and women's history month is the perfect time to gush about her. Because she made her fortune in Indianapolis (where I grew up), she has always been a hero to me. She is a fantastic role model for women, … [Read more...]

African Safari Day 1

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We arrived to the beautiful Madikwe Safari Lodge and were escorted to our bungalow to freshen up.    We took in the views from our room, splashed water on our faces, and rushed back to the common space to meet for tea and snacks before our evening bush drive. We met our guide, Andre, and hopped in our safari vehicle in the hopes of seeing some exotic and slightly dangerous creatures in their natural habitat. Aram hadn’t adjusted to the time so he happily slept during … [Read more...]

Madikwe Safari Lodge

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After about a five hour drive from Johannesburg, we made it to Madikwe Safari Lodge (very close to the border of Botswana). From the moment we entered Madikwe we were welcomed by hundreds of animals. On just the drive up to camp, we saw right next to our vehicle: elephants, giraffes, impalas, zebras, wildebeests, and many many more. It was like a Disney movie where the animals heard our excited arrival and they came out of the happy bush, smiling and about to break out in a welcome song. … [Read more...]

Emmett Till

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One of the most heartbreaking stories of racism to receive national media attention was the story of Emmett Till.   Emmett was a 14-year-old boy who was brutally killed in 1955. The reports on what happened prior to the abduction and torture of Emmett seem to be that he was bragging to his friends about his segregated school. Emmett’s friends then dared him to sweet talk the woman in the shop they were in during the conversation. Emmett said something to her (reports are anything from a … [Read more...]

Love Liberates, Birth Mother Quotes and Inspiration

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We are framing this photo for Samuel, taken by Kyle LaMere in Ethiopia, September 2012.  Under the photo will be Maya Angelou's "Love Liberates" quote. How beautifully she sums up the importance and love of the birth mother and family. How true love frees; it does not enslave. Someone once said, "Children need two things: One is roots and the other is wings." I know Samuel's birth mother was strong enough to provide our son with wings. Now our prayer is that together we can provide him with … [Read more...]

When to Be Proud of Our Children

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A story was told to me a few nights ago about two brothers and their love for each other. This is a story of hope and love led by example of the most unfiltered,  precious, and discerning people on the planet- children. Parents tend to boast about their children's Western accomplishments. Various awards are given out for excellence in academics, sports, and the arts.  We all know, or are guilty ourselves, of bragging about physical attributes of our children. How many of us have spouted off … [Read more...]

The Real Mommy War

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Today, as I fly to Houston to raise awareness for phase 2 of our water project with Waves for Water, I will be thinking about my friend Laura, and her family. Laura has reminded us what mothers really are at war with. Mothers around the world are fighting daily to preserve the health and wellbeing of their families. This is what the world should be outraged about. This is the true "mommy war." There is so much we can do. "The Brightest Light . . ."  Letter from Laura … [Read more...]

Beauty Campaign

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This meme has been circulating on the internet for awhile now.     Most of the people who share it are siding with the Dove campaign and say something negative about the Victoria’s Secret ad. Occasionally, it will be the other way around.   I find the meme and comments for or against either row of women completely degrading to every woman pictured, and women, in general. No matter how this meme is presented, the focus is always negative. By putting these two … [Read more...]

Racism: Our Progress and Our Problems

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  “As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation -- either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”                          -Martin Luther King Jr. This is a day to reflect on how much progress we’ve made since the days of segregation and how much farther we have to go to  fight racism.   This past week, I’ve … [Read more...]

The Extended Breastfeeding Project

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We would like to announce the beginning of a new project, jointly run by Tracy from Evolutionary Parenting, Abby from The Badass Breastfeeder, Kayla from Baby's Breastie, and Kendall and me here on I Am Not the Babysitter – The Extended Breastfeeding Project (www.TheExtendedBreastfeedingProject.com – site coming soon). The overarching goal of this project is to help normalize and put an end to the common misconceptions surrounding “extended” breastfeeding (we use this term simply … [Read more...]

Meanwhile in Ethiopia…

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Hope to lift everyone's spirits today with a happy story. This just happened in Ethiopia. These photos were taken at the Haile Resort in Awassa prior to the long (and bumpy) road to Argisa. Haile is located on the other side of Lake Awassa from Sister Donna. The lake water is just as dangerous to drink here as it is where she lives. As you can see, it is no longer a problem:     As soon as I get an update from Jack about how the training went in Ethiopia I will let you know! … [Read more...]

over 8,000 people will receive access to safe drinking water for the first time – thanks to you

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Thanks to everyone reading, this is the message I am able to deliver to you: By the end of this week, Argisa, Ethiopia will have clean water! Most of you know that you all raised, over the course of one week, the money we needed for our first phase of the Ethiopia project. That, in and of itself, was a miracle. Jack, from Waves for Water, boarded a plan on December 12, and I have just been informed he has landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Jack will be bringing 80 Sawyer filters to the … [Read more...]

The Rose That Grew From Concrete

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Waterlink Africa: Water Changes Everything

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Did you know? $1 can give clean water to one person for over a decade. Why is water life-altering? Unsterile water is the number two killer amongst children. Around the world, fetching water is a woman’s task. Thus, one of the most crucial health issues for women in Africa is the clean water shortage. 1 in 5 children worldwide dies of a water-related disease. Water is a women’s issue. In order to get access to clean water, women and girls must carry up to 50lbs of water every day … [Read more...]

You Have Given a Miracle This Christmas- Clean Water

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We had the Waves for Awassa Event in Los Angeles on World AIDS Day. (December 1) Jack, from Waves for Water, gave a water demonstration and showed videos of what can happen to a community when it’s given what every human needs access to- clean water. When he was done speaking, a couple who attended (fellow adoptive parents, but that is all I will say so that they can remain anonymous) asked us when we were planning on going. “March at the latest.” I replied. Jack jumped in to … [Read more...]

Small Care Packages | Ways to Help the Homeless

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Care Pack Project   The other day, my friend Ashlee blogged about putting together care packets for the homeless. She was inspired by her friend (who was inspired by Pinterest, it seems!) and I was inspired by all of them.   Most people have reservations about giving cash to someone begging on a street corner. I am not sure I agree it is wrong, but there are definitely times I don’t feel it is right for us to do. However, when someone is asking, I feel we should always … [Read more...]

Parenting for the Needs of Your Child- Johnny’s Story

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I was talking to my friend the other day about how she was led to her career as a social worker because of her heart for children. It evolved into a conversation about what life experiences helped to shape our passions in life. Unlike my friend, my passion is not as much for children as it is for mothers - which ultimately benefits children. With my own children, or children living at the center without parents, I have a close connection, like some people have with all children. However, when a … [Read more...]

Attachment Parenting, Sex, and Marriage

Yep, that is Brian n a (very small) shower. Finding visual aids to compliment the topic of this post ended up being a bit of a challenge.

Brian requested that I write a post about sex because it bugs him that the majority of society doesn’t understand “attachment parenting” and makes assumptions about the sex lives of the parents who practice attachment parenting. When I starting writing this post, I questioned: Why would other people feel it is in their place to comment on other’s sex lives when they know nothing about it? I believe that the madonna-whore complex that we suffer from here in the West supports a … [Read more...]

Away We Go

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I know some people were offended by Maggie Gyllenhaal's character in the movie Away We Go, but I thought it was really funny. For those of you who haven't seen it: Maggie's character in the movie is a caricature of a rich "AP" hippie parent, who has such strong opinions about her own parenting she attempts to give unsolicited advice to every parent (or parent-to-be) around her, and it doesn't seem to be well-received by anyone. The guy who plays her AP husband in this movie is equally as … [Read more...]

Come Across Like a Jerk and People Will Think You’re Competent

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Kind of... According to Princeton University researchers, Deborah Son Holoien and Susan Fiske, when people want to appear warm they will downplay their competence; when people want to appear competent they will downplay their warmth. Read Abstract Anecdotal evidence from a friend of iamnotthebabysitter.com (who wants to remain anonymous) shows that at least the former is true...she just admitted to me that she downplays her competence to appear friendly. She is convinced that women … [Read more...]

Goodbye Target Shoes

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Goodbye Target shoes. You had a good run. You covered my feet for three years in all your sparkly glory. You graced the cover of Time. You survived multiple trips to Disneyland on hot summer days and countless water rides. You were definitely worth the $10 I spent on you. … [Read more...]

The Real Men of Attachment Parenting: Tumblr

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We initially started our “Real Men of Attachment Parenting” series as a joke. Our friend Maria started the AP Ryan Gosling series, and we wanted to create an online rivalry between our “real men” and the fictitious online Ryan Gosling character. The series morphed into what is now a playful and touching look inside families with present fathers. AP is such a fluid concept that even if people don’t identify as attachment parents, any "present" parent who validates the needs and … [Read more...]

Chinese Hairy Stockings

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The image of these stockings is going viral on Sina Weibo (China's version of Twitter and Facebook in hybrid form). The text to go along with the image claimed these "sexy summertime essentials" were perfect for keeping away perverts. I am curious if the idea was a joke, or if these really will be a new trend in Chinese fashion. Interesting nonetheless...   Do you think this is a joke? Are you offended by the entire idea? Or is it a clever way of repelling men in a society … [Read more...]

Natural Bath Products Giveaway

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I have been looking for bath products that use more natural ingredients, while still actually doing their job. This has been somewhat of a challenge. Most of the shampoos I was using, I would need to wash 4 or 5 times with large amounts of product before I felt my hair would feel clean. I tried out the 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner from Totlogic for a couple of weeks now and I haven't wanted to use anything else. Samuel was using the leave-in conditioner on his mohawk with some great … [Read more...]